


A Little Bit Country

by boobtuber1978



Category: Major Crimes (TV), The Closer
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-05 10:54:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12188619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boobtuber1978/pseuds/boobtuber1978
Summary: Brenda Leigh is needed back in LA after her retirement but she's holed up, pouting in Georgia. Sharon Raydor has to convince the former Deputy Chief to return before an arrest warrant is issued.  More characters get involved after Chapter 4.**Moved over from FF so some notes may not make sense**





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This starts after Brenda Leigh retired and Sharon Raydor took over Major Crimes. But that's about where it follows the series. It's mostly Raydor POV but will probably be a combination following this chapter.

Sharon Raydor was sitting, quite uncomfortably, at her new desk in Major Crimes. Three weeks she'd been there but it still didn't feel like hers. All of Brenda Leigh Johnson's things were gone and replaced with current case files.

She hadn't moved any personal things in there yet. But she really didn't have any. So that was a mute point.

As she was lost in a file, the door to her office swung open causing her to nearly jump out of her skin. In the doorway stood Chief Pope with his hands on his hips. A stern looks chiseled on his face.

What did he want now? Sharon wondered as she clicked her pen closed and slowly laid it on top of the papers she had just been perusing.

"Chief Pope." She leaned back in the supple black leather chair. She hadn't brought her own from FID. This one was more comfortable and – and it had history. A legacy of sorts.

He entered completely then and closed the door behind him.

Sharon watched him closely all the while noticing her team eyeing the closed-door encounter curiously through the open blinds.

"Captain, you know FID is still investigating Chief…" he corrected himself. "Brenda for the Stroh assault."

Sharon narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Chief," she put emphasis on the word, "Johnson retired from the LAPD and admitted guilt of the accused assault charges. That investigation was closed when her retirement was granted."

Will Pope shifted and looked around the practically empty office.

He cleared his throat. "Stroh is suing LAPD indicating that perhaps Chief Johnson's squad knew of her plans and precipitated such."

Sharon Raydor twisted her lips then spoke slowly and deliberately. "Sooo a convicted rapist and murderer is suing the LAPD? And why are we wasting time and, I can only assume, a tremendous amount of money on this?"

Pope ran a hand over his bald head. He knew this wouldn't be easy. "The level of media attention this case drew has…"

"The LAPD lets the media dictate what it does now?"

Pope sighed. "Anyway, the trial starts…"

"Trial?"

"Yes, Captain, trial." He was getting more and more frustrated. "Former Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson goes on trial in one month." Sharon opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off with a raised hand so she clamped her lips together again. "I'm telling you this because you are a ranking officer and your team will most likely be questioned…if not more."

She nodded curtly. Nothing else she could say would matter. The wheels were already in motion. And soon Brenda Leigh Johnson would return to the fold even if just for a short time.

A week later, Sharon Raydor was sitting at the same empty desk, working on another pile of paperwork. But for a full week her mind had been inexplicably wandering in their direction of none other than the woman who, for so long, was the bane of her working existence.

One time her shrink tried to tell her that people who were so very similar often butted heads more than anyone else. And sometimes unrequited feelings caused the level of stress and hardheadedness to stand in the way of a successful working relationship.

With that thought, Sharon removed her dark rimmed glasses and rubbed her eyes careful not to smear any mascara that may be left after a long day.

A light knock on her door caused her to sigh out loud. With any more interruptions and errant thoughts about Brenda Leigh she'd never finish the work that had to be done before she went home. When she looked up Special Agent Fritz Howard had his head poked in the door.

"Agent Howard, come in." They had worked several cases together since Brenda left but they didn't speak of her. Sharon had to uphold the professionalism of her team and herself.

"I'm sorry to disturb you so late, Captain." He closed the door gently behind him.

"It's no trouble at all. What can I do for you?" Sharon smiled tightly.

"I'm sure you've heard that they're going to make Brenda Leigh go to trial because of that asshole Stroh." He waved his hand. "Sorry. Well…"

"Well?"

Fritz paced the room. "Brenda is in Georgia. And she won't return my calls."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what this has to do with me or Major Crimes." She was thoroughly confused now.

"She has to come back for the trial or they'll put a warrant out for her arrest." He gave a strangled laugh. "Brenda Leigh is being her normal stubborn self. She won't come back for me. I thought maybe…you could talk to her."

Sharon raised her eyebrows. "Chief Johnson and I aren't exactly friends, Agent Howard." She would admit that they had grown tolerable of each other the past year they worked together. But friends? No.

"No, but as odd as it may be…you were the closest thing to a friend she had."

Sharon Raydor sat in stunned silence. Because not until Fritz said the words did it hit her that the same was true for her. Brenda was the closest thing to a friend that she had as well.

"I'll see what I can do but I can't promise anything. You and I both know she's not going to do something unless she wants to do it."

Fritz nodded his hand and thanked her for her efforts. He knew it was a long shot asking Sharon to help and an even longer shot that she would be able to convince his wife to return. Hell, she wouldn't return for him. But it was his last hope. Stroh had destroyed Brenda from the inside out and now he was putting her freedom in jeopardy.

Later that night…or early the next morning…however you wanted to look at it…Sharon Raydor was standing in her obscenely large walk-in closet. With a glass of Riesling dangling between her fingers she scanned the hoards of clothes. Granted most of them were dark toned pencil skirts and dress suits but way in the back she had a few socially fitting outfits.

As she ran her empty hand along the suits and skirts and evening gowns, it hit her.

"What does one wear in Georgia?" She asked out loud to nobody. She'd never been to the south for more than a business workshop. Well there was only one thing to do: go shopping.

She smiled and downed the rest of the wine. There was nothing more therapeutic than a shopping trip.

It didn't take long to find the clothes she wanted or at least thought were more Georgia appropriate. And by noon she was on a flight to Atlanta. She tried to come up with a plan of how to convince the former Deputy Chief to come back with her. But each scenario ended unsuccessfully. Hopefully she would figure something out once she got there.

In the meantime she completed a few emails that she would send to her team once she landed. Commander, she rolled her eyes, Assistant Chief Taylor would keep Major Crimes in line while she was away and she was fairly sure Lieutenant Provenza would be none too happy to lead the team in her absence.

Three hours and three time zones later, Sharon Raydor arrived in the great state of Georgia. The first thing she noticed when she walked out of the airport doors was the heat and humidity. She literally felt her breath being sucked out of her and a bead of sweat break out across her forehead.

She was immediately glad that she had worn a knee-length skirt and short-sleeved silk shell underneath her suit jacket. True, she had shopped before leaving but Sharon Raydor was Sharon Raydor and she didn't venture far from the form-fitting, perfectly tailored suits.

And the purple blazer was her favorite.

One thing she remembered about the south was that it was not unlike LA in that everyone had a car. Public transportation was not an option so she rented a car. The rental company clerk handed her the keys to a non-descript peanut of a car. Her knees bent and pressed into the steering column until she finally figured out how to adjust the seat. It certainly wasn't like her German-made sports coup. But it would do. She didn't anticipate having to use it that long anyway.

She'd already saved the address of Brenda Leigh's parents in her phone before she left so she hit the driving directions icon and was on her way. The directions took her through an old, stately area of the city and finally into a neighborhood with antebellum homes. Each one with a welcoming and inviting front porch. She laughed to herself remembering they were called verandas down here or so Brenda Leigh told them many times.

Turning onto a tree-lined street she found the house she was looking for. The red brick house was gorgeous. It was probably built in the 1800s and still oozed the same charm.

She rang the doorbell and waited nervously for Brenda Leigh to answer. It would be the first time she had seen her since Brenda retired. Butterflies flitted in her stomach. Nerves? Certainly not.

Finally, the door slowly opened and a warm smile formed on her face.

"Well if it isn't Brenda's friend Sharon." Brenda's father, Clay, opened the door and pulled Sharon into a hug. The breath huffed out of her as he wrapped his big arms around her.

"Hello, Mr. Johnson." She started before he stopped her mid-sentence.

"A friend of Brenda Leigh's calls me Clay." Oh that big southern charm. No one would have known his beloved wife had just died not three months before. Sharon's heart broke for him but it also pleased her that he was doing so well.

"Clay." Her smile deepened. "I'm here to see Brenda Leigh."

He joined her on the porch and offered her a seat in one of the four large white rocking chairs. She sat facing him as best she could. From out here she could tell he was a little more frail than when she saw him last. But it was understandable.

"I'm sorry, darlin. But Brenda's off in the woods."

"The woods?" She asked, drawing it out slowly. What did that mean? The woods.

"Brenda Leigh owns a little house in the country. In a town called Pheasant Hill. She'd been up there for the past week or so. I ain't worried. She's always used that place as a head-clearin' retreat, if you will." Clay went on to tell a funny story about Brenda and Pheasant Hill.

In ten minutes, Sharon learned more about Brenda Leigh than she'd learned the past three years. Clay gave her the address to Brenda's "head-clearin' retreat" and he afforded her with another bear hug.

Just as she opened the door to her compact car, she heard Clay calling from the porch. "Oh but she's probably not at home now. She goes to the Tail Feather."

"The what?" She asked.

"The Tail Feather. It's a local beer joint. Once you get to Pheasant Hill you can't miss it."

An hour later, Sharon was transported to another planet or so it seemed to her. The big city was long behind her and in front of her…the woods. Modern highway turned to roads and then eventually to a dirt road. Her skin prickled and started to itch at her discomfort.

Just as Clay had said, as she entered the town of Pheasant Hill, the Tail Feather was prominently situated front and center. It was the only establishment that appeared to be open. Although there weren't many others besides a diner and a drug store to choose from.

The dirt parking lot was full of trucks and motorcycles and even all-terrain vehicles. She sat at the stop sign across the street for a few minutes deciding if she should go there first. There wasn't any indication that Brenda was there but then Sharon didn't know what she was driving.

Taking a chance, Brenda turned left and followed the directions Clay had given her to Brenda's house. She watched the cloud of dust billow behind her car as she steered her car onto yet another tree-lined dirt road. But finally the trees broke away to a clearing and a small, quaint white clapboard house came into view. Like the older houses Sharon had seen in the city, this one too had an expansive front porch. But it was small and cozy and everything Brenda Leigh.

There weren't any cars in the driveway but Sharon parked and got out of her own car anyway. Pulling the brown Louis Vuitton roller bag behind her she made her way up the creaky steps and knocked on the screen door.

She knocked again when there was no answer. Through the windows she could see that the house was dark inside. But she decided to try a backdoor. There was no answer there either.

Sharon looked down at her suit. She couldn't go to a small town bar dressed like she was. The locals would laugh her right out of town. Well there was nothing else to do but break in. She turned the doorknob to get a better look at the keyhole so she could assess which of her lock picking devices she would need. Always be prepared, the Girl Scouts say.

But the knob turned easily in her hand and she pushed the door open. Leave it to Brenda Leigh to not lock her doors.

Thirty minutes later, Sharon laughed out loud as she stumbled in the yard leading to her car. Maybe she had over did it on her shopping trip. Oh well.

A few minutes later she pulled into the lot next to the Tail Feather. It looked like a few of the automobiles from earlier had left. Folding down the visor mirror, Sharon checked her makeup and tried to calm her nerves. Why was she nervous? Knowing that's what she was was pissing her off.

The clock on the instrument panel showed it was close to 10pm. Normally at 10pm she would be sitting in her office and trying to remember what leftovers she had in her refrigerator at home.

Her heels clacked on the concrete sidewalk leading up to the door. The building looked like it was straight out of the Wild West. The wooden siding was grey and weathered. The centuries old cyprus trunk posts holding up the roof overhang were worn smooth. It didn't take much to imagine horses tied to these posts before cars and trucks intruded on the small town.

Sharon Raydor took a deep breath before pulling the heavy wooden door open. The haze of the smoke filled bar briefly blinded her view of anything happening on the inside. But as she stepped in she was immediately hit with the staleness of the smoke and alcohol and the sharp country twang coming from the lit up jukebox in the back corner.

The concrete floor was covered in dirt that was probably tracked in during the decade before last. Her big green eyes widened as she scanned the "trophies" aligned along the walls. There was any kind of wild animal you could imagine mounted on those dark wood paneled walls. Her stomach twisted in a knot as she recalled that her husband was a hunter and the revelry he got during a kill. She shook that memory out of her head.

Scanning the booths to the left she didn't see who she was looking for. But she did see a bunch of cowboy hat wearing men eyeing her curiously. Most of them tipping the brims of their hats in her direction.

A few jaunty couples two-stepped across a faded dance floor over in the corner.

A long mirrored wall behind the solid mahogany bar needed a healthy dose of windex. The ledge in front of the mirror showcased a myriad of liquor bottles. But she still hadn't seen what she came in search of.

Brenda Leigh Johnson sat near the end of the Tail Feather's bar. The bar was busy but she didn't notice. Thankfully no one sat near her and she was able to drink without unwanted interruption. Most of the locals knew her and left her alone. Of course there was always that friend of a friend of a local who tried using the most annoying pick up lines that wouldn't work on the most seasoned LA hookers.

Wayne, the bartender for as long as she could remember, sat another drink in front of her and wiped the moisture from the bar before tossing the white bar towel over his shoulder and moving back to the other end. He knew she would talk if she wanted to.

Brenda looked up to thank him for her third, no fourth, drink when her eyes landed on the mirror in front of her. She blinked rapidly trying to get the figure she saw…the figure she knew wasn't really there…to disappear.

That same figure appeared in her mind and her dreams more than she wanted. She couldn't understand it. That was one reason she was holed up in Pheasant Hill. Her mind was playing weird games with her and she needed to regain control.

For days, both Fritz and Will had tried to get ahold of her but she didn't want to deal with them. Not yet anyway. She didn't return their calls or texts. Maybe she had had more than four drinks.

But the vision wasn't going away. It was getting closer. The bar was dark but that face was not to be mistaken. It was her. And in a few long strides it appeared behind her right shoulder. But she didn't dare turn around. She still wasn't convinced it was real.

It couldn't be. Sharon Raydor would never step foot in a place like this.

"Chief?" The deep, honey glazed voice she heard in her dreams sent shivers down her spine.

Slowly turning around she took in the whole sight of one LAPD Captain Sharon Raydor. As her alcohol heavy eyes traveled down the length of her, Brenda's eyes widened. And before she knew it she was giggling behind her hand.

But she didn't want to giggle. That was the alcohol.

When she finally pushed those away she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and just stared at the woman in front of her.

Sharon Raydor, the stiff backed, by-the-book Sharon Raydor, had on a pair of tight fitting jeans that showed off her luscious hips. The deep rust colored blouse was cut low and the tops of her breasts kissed the hem. And gone were the black designer pumps—replaced by a pair of dark red pointed toe cowboy boots. It was a sight like none other than she had ever seen before.

Brenda Leigh knew buried deep inside her were feelings—feelings of something she had never felt for another woman. Feelings that confused her and made her question everything. She buried them deep and attributed them to a curiosity and long hours at work and not having a great deal of female companionship. She thought once she retired and started a new adventure those feelings would go away. But they hadn't. They were trying to bubble to the surface.

Sharon rested her hands on her hips. She was already a bit self-conscious about her new attire but then to be laughed at. She should have let Brenda rot down here.

"Captain. I…what are you doin here?"

"First: hello. Second: I'm here to escort you back to LA for your trial. And third: Laughing at someone is extremely rude."

Brenda Leigh's mouth fell open. "No…no, I wasn't laughin' at you." She hiccupped and Sharon narrowed her eyes. "I was just…just surprised to see you is all. I mean, you were like a figment of my imagination or a what's those things in the desert called…a?"

"A mirage?"

"Yes! A mirage. You were like a mirage. But here you are. Oh! Where are my manners? Please sit down." Brenda moved her big black bag from the bar stool next to her so Sharon could sit down.

Sharon was glad the bag still hadn't changed.

Brenda waved at Wayne who quickly set a brown bottle of beer in front of Sharon who wrinkled her nose.

"Beer? Really, Brenda Leigh? I didn't take you for the honky tonk type."

Brenda smiled as she took a long pull from her own bottle. Watching Sharon Raydor in the Tail Feather was like watching a fish out of water.

"Oh there are lots of things you don't know about me, Captain Raydor."


	2. Chapter 2

Brenda watched as Sharon hesitantly lifted the glass bottle to her lips. Her attention then drawn to the reflux of Sharon's long, slender throat taking the liquid in. Immediately the brunette grimaced and Brenda hid a smile behind her own bottle.

"This, apparently, is an acquired taste." Sharon continued to twist her mouth at the unpleasant taste.

Brenda rolled her eyes but the smile on her face widened. It was fun watching Captain Sharon Raydor so far out of her element. Never in her wildest dreams…and she'd had some wild ones…did she think Sharon would ever end up in the Tail Feather, drinking beer from a longneck and wearing blue jeans…tight blue jeans and boots.

"About your trial, Chief." Sharon watched closely for Brenda's reaction.

Brenda shook her head. "I don't wanna talk about that."

"But you…" Sharon raised her voice immediately but then corrected herself. "But you can't ignore it. Not like you've been ignoring…your husband." The last part came out without warning. Sharon's eyes widened once she realized what she had said.

Brenda snapped her head around and glared at Sharon. "I was wondering who recruited you."

"What is going on with you?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it." Brenda leaped off the leather covered bar stool.

Sharon watched as Brenda sashayed across the room to the garishly lit up jukebox in the corner. The blonde had a sway to her hips like no one else. The hips caused her more distraction at Major Crimes than she wanted to admit. But Sharon's weren't the only eyes glued to her behind as the flirty skirt bounced around her knees.

She turned back to the bar and took another cool sip of the beer. The amber liquid went down a little smoother this time. She could almost feel it hitting the bottom of her stomach and remembered she hadn't eaten since the prepackaged lunch on the plane.

Through the mirror in front of her, she noticed the crowd starting to grow thinner. Then her eyes caught the reflection of the blonde walking back to the bar with a mischievous grin on her face.

For years, Sharon hadn't had time to think about anything other than the LAPD. Her mind was set on one thing and one thing only: moving up the ranks. She wanted to do it for women, for her children but most importantly for herself. Decades ago she made a personal goal for herself and it took a long time to reach it but she never wavered. And now she was finally in a place where she was happy and satisfied.

But those years of hard work left little time for a personal life. She would readily admit to herself that she was lonely at times and that she had needs. But normally she could push them away or take care of them as quick and easy as she could and go on about her business. But being in this…this…foreign land called The Woods…everything seemed to slow down and come into perspective.

"So…Captain…what were we talking about?" Brenda finagled herself back down beside her and leaned on the wooden bar top their upper arms touching. Sharon could feel the heat coming from Brenda's body. Maybe it was her own.

Sharon looked over at the smiling woman beside her and couldn't help but smile herself. As much as they butted heads at work, they really had become good allies. And realizing that Brenda Leigh was drunk made her smile even more. She hadn't seen the chief uninhibited many times before so this would be interesting.

The bartender came by and asked if they needed another drink. Through a fit of giggles, Brenda ordered them another beer.

"How many of these have you had?" Sharon asked an obviously tipsy Brenda.

"Enough." Then her expression darkened as her eyebrow raised slowly up her forehead. "Or not enough."

The silence between them was deafening even with the background bar noise. With their arms crossed in front of them over the bar, they both stared straight ahead into the mirror before them. The bartender sat the brown bottles down as the song Brenda played came on the jukebox.

Brenda brought the bottle to her lips all the while watching her visitor intently in the mirror. Sharon was darting her eyes everywhere but the one place that would do her in.

The slow twang of the jukebox filled the void.

She tried to hide it by the faded denim clothes she wore.

But I knew she'd never

Been inside a bar before.

Sharon felt Brenda's eyes boring into her through the mirror.

And I felt like a peasant who just had met a queen

And she knew I saw right through her tight fittin jeans.

Sharon glanced ever so slightly to the right; her breath hitched in her throat as she caught the smoldering fire in the mirror. They held the connection as the song continued to pulse around them.

I asked her what's a woman like you doin here.

I see you're used to champagne but I'll buy you a beer.

Sharon felt her heart beating faster and her breath deepening. She watched in the mirror as Brenda slowly raised that eyebrow again and this time the corner of her mouth turned up in slightest of smirks. Maybe it was a mistake to wear what she did because suddenly it became awfully hot in there.

She couldn't believe Brenda would play this song on purpose or for purposes other than she simply liked it. Sharon had to believe that or everything she thought about Brenda Leigh Johnson had to be thrown out the window.

The rest of the lyrics became a blur as they held each other gazes. Something…something unspoken was being passed between them. Was it the beat of the song or her heart pulsating through her body? Sharon wasn't sure.

Then suddenly the song stopped and Sharon broke the eye contact. Swallowing the lump in her throat she raised her hand to get the bartender's attention. In five steps he was smiling in front of her but her body…her mind was still reeling.

Clearing her throat her deepened voice crossed the bar. "Two shots of whiskey. Please."

She didn't turn to look at Brenda but out of the corner of her eye she saw the blonde whip her head around. The blonde hair floating around her shoulders. Sharon pursed her lips and waited for the small, potent drinks to arrive. She needed the alcohol to settle her nerves.

The tight smile she gave the bartender, who brought the amber liquid to them, was forced but polite. He didn't seem to notice or care and went back to the other end of the bar to take care of a more friendly, rowdy bunch. Sharon and Brenda were left alone again.

Sharon slowly pushed one of the glasses towards Brenda Leigh. Finally, she looked up and caught her eye. They weren't two feet apart but the heat was still building.

"Whiskey, Captain? I didn't…"

"Just take it…Brenda." Sharon ordered.

Sharon picked up the glass and held it in front of her. She inclined her head for Brenda to do the same. Watching Brenda slide her tongue across her pink lips before picking up the glass, nearly did Sharon in. It had to be the alcohol she surmised.

"To…." Sharon couldn't think of a toast. Truthfully, she couldn't think much of anything.

"To…trying something new." Brenda said before they tapped the edges of the glasses together. Some cosmic spark passed through the glasses. Their eyes met again and the fire had returned.

At the same time, the two former colleagues tipped the cold liquid into their mouths and felt the burn slide down their throats.

Sharon twisted her barstool back around and faced the bar. Almost immediately she felt a warm hand on the top of her thigh. Turning her head from side to side, she looked to see if anyone could see. Brenda was pressed close…so close to Sharon's right side that no one could see anything. And the few remaining customers were caught up in their own entertainment to notice or care.

"No one can see." Brenda whispered at Sharon's shoulder. Goose bumps broke out all over Sharon's skin as the soft breath passed across her neck.

Brenda slid her hand an inch higher on Sharon's leg. She heard the usually composed woman take a sharp breath…but that didn't stop her. In the mirror, Brenda caught Sharon's eyes fluttering ever so slightly. Brenda Leigh Johnson wasn't one to stop what she started…especially something she didn't want to stop. She was enjoying watching the mixed emotions passing across Sharon's face.

The blonde removed her hand and Sharon exhaled at the loss of contact. Sharon pulled her bottom lip with her teeth and watched Brenda order two more shots.

"What are you doing, chief?" Sharon could barely manage a low whisper.

Brenda shrugged. "Just orderin another round."

Sharon gave her a look letting her know that was not the answer she was looking for. The drinks appeared in front of them and Sharon didn't wait for any formalities. She took the glass and through it back as fast and hard as she could. The sharp whiskey nearly choked her but she managed to get it all down in one shot. Brenda quickly followed and drained her glass as well.

Sharon pushed herself off of her barstool and stumbled slightly in her boots. "I need to find the facilities." Brenda pointed her in the direction of the ladies room. With a smile on her face, Brenda watched Sharon wobble and weave across the room.

Biting on the end of her fingernail, Brenda hopped down from her own barstool, steadied herself and followed the same path as Sharon. She didn't have a plan. She didn't know what she would find inside that ladies room. She wasn't thinking of any of that.

Brenda swung the door open and found Sharon at the sink tossing cold water in her face. Startled, Sharon straightened and watched Brenda close the door behind her and turn the lock. Narrowing her eyes, she realized the alcohol was hitting her fast and hard.

Her eyes blinked uncontrollably as she saw Brenda quickly closing the gap between them. She couldn't protest as she was being pushed backwards until her back was against the wall. Before she could open her mouth to speak, Sharon was overcome. Overcome by a force called Brenda Leigh Johnson.

Brenda's mouth quickly found Sharon's. She pushed her whole body against Sharon's stiffened form. Her hands anchored on either side of the brunette's shoulders. She felt every muscle tighten in the other woman's body but she didn't waiver from her mission. Brenda raked her tongue along Sharon thin lips. She could taste the heat…the whiskey.

As she was sucking and tasting Sharon's soft lips, Brenda felt her nipples harden against Sharon's chest. Never had another woman caused her such illicit feelings. But from day one, Sharon Raydor was different from any other woman Brenda had ever met. It didn't take long for the hard-nosed captain to start popping up in her dreams at night and then her dreams during the day.

After awhile it was hard for Brenda to focus on her job or her husband. But she managed as best she could - given the circumstances. And when she retired she thought she had finally put the luscious woman out of her life. But here she was, pressing the same very luscious woman into the wall of the ladies room with her mouth capturing hers.

Surprisingly, Brenda felt Sharon's body soften. The muscles relaxed and her lips…kissed her back. Sharon unclenched her fists and found the flares of Brenda's hips. Her hands rested lightly on the supple area before slowly digging into the soft flesh. Opening her mouth ever so slightly she gave invitation to Brenda Leigh to venture further.

Expecting Brenda to forge ahead with full force, Sharon was shocked when Brenda pulled back slightly and eased her pressure. This time Brenda leaned in and gently took Sharon's bottom lip in hers and sucked lightly. A moan escaped from deep in Sharon's throat.

It was then that Brenda felt Sharon's own breasts tighten before her. Sliding her hands down the wall she hesitated only slightly before grasping Sharon's thin waist and trailing her nimble fingers up her torso to just beneath her full breasts. Brenda ran her fingers along the undersides.

Brenda felt Sharon pulling her hips closer then slowly bunching the material of her skirt. In short time, Sharon had her hands planted firmly on Brenda's bare hips. The older captain was taken aback by the fact that Brenda didn't have any panties on. But that's something she would address with her later.

The heat emitting between them was hotter than either had ever felt before. Sharon ached to feel Brenda's hands on her heavy breasts. Granted, she hadn't been touched like that in a long time. But it wasn't just the wanton need. It was the blonde standing in front of her. The blonde who drove her to distraction. The blonde who made her question everything twice.

The blonde who finally slipped her tongue inside her mouth. Another moan squeaked out but this time Sharon didn't know if it was her own or Brenda's. Sharon tastes the beer, the whiskey, the heat, the desire, the lust inside Brenda's mouth. She wanted more. She couldn't get close enough to her.

But when Brenda rasped her thumbs across Sharon's hardened nipples, the brunette broke the deep, lusty kiss and threw her head back against the wall and dug her fingers deeper into Brenda's skin. With her eyes closed, all she did was feel. She felt the desire throbbing between her legs. Brenda reached underneath Sharon's shirt and rubbed her hot hands along Sharon's bare belly then up to her satin covered breasts. She wasn't reserved. Brenda jerked the satin cups down exposing Sharon's full, heavy breasts.

With her head still tossed back against the wall, Sharon squeezed her eyes shut even tighter. She didn't know that her body could feel so much all at once. Pulling her bottom lip in, she tasted Brenda's lipstick. Then tasted blood as she bit her lip too hard just when Brenda lifted her shirt in one fell swoop and enclosed her mouth around one of her nipples.

Sharon wasn't sure how she managed to stay upright. Her knees were visibly shaking and buckling beneath her. But Brenda didn't let up on her manipulations. One hand flicked the exposed hard nipple of one breast while her mouth and tongue feasted on the other.

She didn't realize Brenda had moved her hand until she felt it flick open the button of her jeans and force the zipper down ever so slowly. It was like she was standing outside of her body watching Brenda tease her nipples with the tip of her tongue all the while slowly…oh so slowly sliding her hand into her jeans and more specifically her panties. Sharon Raydor, of course, wore panties.

Brenda felt the heat long before her hand ventured into the one place she never imagined it would go. She moaned against Sharon's ample breast when her hand reached a very bare apex between Sharon's legs. It took all she had not to giggle at the thought of by-the-book Raydor getting a Brazilian wax job. But she was too caught up in how wonderful she felt. The soft, hot skin. The dampness.

Just as she was about to slide her fingers into the very core of the brunette, Brenda stopped and pulled back. Sharon's face was contorted between pure bliss and desperate agony.

"Open your eyes." Brenda said slowly but Sharon only squeezed her eyes shut tighter. She couldn't look at her. It would bring everything into focus. "Open your eyes, Sharon. Look at me." Sharon slowly relaxed her eyes but still didn't open them. "Look at me…please." Finally Brenda got a glimpse of those emerald green eyes that were almost black with desire.

Sharon's eyes locked with Brenda's and with two fingers Brenda dipped lower and spread the silky ribbon of Sharon up and down the older woman's swollen folds. She couldn't believe how wet the captain was. She had felt her own moisture before but Brenda had never been so turned on, so completely enamored with another woman. Not even a woman…anyone. She'd never felt this way with Fritz or Will or anybody else.

She held Sharon's gaze as she continued to slowly learn what Sharon responded to the most. Sharon gasped sharply when Brenda circled two fingers around the hot button of nerves between her legs. Brenda watched Sharon flutter her eyes again.

"No, don't close your eyes."

Sharon's eyes popped open and widened as Brenda continued her manipulations. Her glorious manipulations. Sharon had been with men before. Perhaps more than she should. And more than any one would guess. Sharon was a very sexual woman - that she didn't deny. She enjoyed sex but in the last few years she hadn't gotten to enjoy it as much as she wanted. But it was by her own faults.

But this…this was something she'd never experienced. And the sex…was it sex?...was more intense and overtook her whole body more than any she'd ever experienced before. She didn't want it to stop but she could barely breathe or stand upright.

The look in Brenda's eyes frightened her only because it was an intensity she didn't know the former chief was capable of. And without warning, Brenda put more pressure on just the right spot and everything Sharon was trying to keep inside came rolling out in waves. Her body convulsed from the inside out.

Brenda knew immediately when the orgasm hit. Sharon's body tensed and she could feel the pulsating against her whole body. She didn't remove her hand. She slowly spread the ever growing moisture around Sharon's throbbing center.

"Brenda." Sharon breathed before slowly collapsing to the floor. Her legs finally gave out from under her and Brenda helped ease her down. Any other time she would be completely disgusted to be touching the floor of a public restroom but right now her brain wasn't functioning normally.

Catching her breath, she looked up to see Brenda standing in front of her readjusting her skirt. Then the chocolate brown eyes captured hers as a naughty smirked played on Brenda's lips. Sharon swallowed hard when Brenda, without breaking the stare, slowly brought her hand…that hand…to her lips and ran her pink tongue up her middle finger tasting what remained.

If she was having trouble getting her legs to work before she was having more trouble now. But little by little Sharon gathered herself and managed to get steady on her feet. As her head cleared and realized she was so uncustomarily disheveled, she turned her back embarrassed by what had just transpired.

Straightening herself and her clothes, Sharon felt her face flush more than it already was. Behind her she heard Brenda Leigh washing her hands then unlocking the bathroom door. When she finally turned around Brenda was gone.

Was she upset with her? Embarrassed like she was? Disappointed?


	3. Chapter 3

As Sharon walked from the ladies room back to the bar, her thighs were still quivering. It took all she had to not stumble over the dance floor. Half way to her destination she caught the eye of the bartender. Raising her hand and extending a finger, she indicated she wanted another drink.

He had it on the bar before Sharon finished her slow, deliberate walk back to the bar and to her. There were only a few people left at a corner booth who were drawing the bartender's attention. Looking at her watch, Sharon was surprised to see that it was already almost 2am.

Brenda was sitting with her elbows resting on the polished wood bar top. She heard the familiar click of the boots against the concrete floor behind her but she didn't turn around. She'd know the sound of that walk no matter the shoes or the floor. She knew the sway of those hips, the straightness of that back, the chin held high and firm.

She heard her approach just behind her but she didn't turn around or look ahead into the mirror avoiding as long as possible the daggers that would undoubtedly be shooting out of those green eyes. Instead she held her breath.

Sharon stared into the mirror in front of them. But Brenda didn't look up to meet her gaze. Brenda was never the shy type but after what had happened not more than five minutes before, Sharon wasn't sure what to expect anymore. Her heart was still rapidly pounding behind her ribs. If she didn't force it out of her mind, she could still feel the nimble fingers between her legs. The same ones that brought her to her knees.

The bartender had sat the full shot glass down directly in front of Brenda. Without taking her eyes from the blonde's reflection in the mirror, Sharon pressed her chest against Brenda's back and slowly reached around to take the waiting drink. A barely there smile played at the corners of her lips as she felt Brenda's breath hitch in her back.

As she reached around and still peering into the glass, Sharon's breath brushed against Brenda's ear. "Paybacks are a bitch…chief."

Brenda's eyes jerked up in response and collided with the brunette's over her shoulder in the mirror. She watched Sharon take the glass to her lips and drink the harsh liquor down in one gulp.

Their eyes never disengaged from each other's. Brenda's pink tongue slowly traced her still swollen lips. Her chest heaved remembering her lips where the glass was. Remembering sliding her tongue across those lips and tasting the alcohol and heat.

"Ladies, I gotta close the place down now. It's 2am." The bartender interrupted the moment but didn't seem to notice or care what was going on between them.

Brenda spun away from Sharon and lifted her famous black bag from the barstool next to her. She stumbled slightly as she got to her feet.

"Brenda Leigh, if you wait a few minutes, I'll drive you ladies home." Wayne knew exactly how much they had had to drink.

Brenda waved him off. "Thank you, Wayne, but I think we can manage it." She stumbled again.

He shook his head. "No, ma'am. Your daddy'd have my hide if I let you drive home in that condition. Wait right outside the door. I'll be there in a jiffy." The Johnson family had been close with Wayne's since before Brenda was born. And she knew he was right. Clay wouldn't let Brenda hear the end of it if she or Sharon drove home drunk.

Brenda and Sharon sat down on the grey, weathered bench outside the front door of the Tail Feather. The night air was warm and a dense fog was settling around the tall pine trees. Chirps of crickets hiding in the surrounding forest beds seemed to echo in the quiet Georgia night.

Digging into the crevasses of her purse, Brenda looked for the one thing she needed at that moment. She was sure it was in there but couldn't put her fingertips on it in the dark.

"Oh for heaven's sake!" She was getting frustrated. It had to be in there.

Sharon grabbed the leather bag from Brenda Leigh with a sigh and rested it on her lap. Reaching into the bottom she felt around for what she knew Brenda was looking for. Finally she felt the cool tinfoil against her fingers.

Pulling out a tiny silver wrapped Hershey kiss she held it out in front of Brenda by the thin white tag on top. Brenda snatched it away, quickly unwrapped it and popped the glorious morsel in her mouth. Instinctively her eyes fluttered shut and a moan escaped from deep in her throat.

Sharon watched the affect the chocolate had on Brenda Leigh. She'd seen her consume copious amount of candy before but until that moment she'd never really watched her eat it. It was almost orgasmic for Brenda. She couldn't stop the throbbing between her legs as she watched the melting chocolate bounce from one side of Brenda's mouth to the other. Throb.

Brenda opened her eyes slowly and saw Sharon raise her left eyebrow. "Sorry. That's the only one I had." Throb.

Sharon's eyes slowly tracked to the speck of melted chocolate at the corner of Brenda's mouth. Throb.

Sharon stared it. She wanted to tell Brenda to wipe it off. It marred her perfectly wide mouth. Throb.

Still she stared. Finally, taking a sharp breath and gave in. Throb.

Closing the six inches of distance between them, Sharon sealed her mouth over the corner of Brenda's lips and with the tip of her tongue tasted the sweet treat.

Throb.

Throb.

Throb.

The old door of the saloon squeaked open and Sharon jerked her head away. She wasn't embarrassed as much as she knew they didn't need the attention that would certainly be thrown upon them or at least upon Brenda in a small, country town.

Brenda's eyes were huge and filled with desire when Sharon pulled away.

Wayne drove them the short distance to Brenda's house in his truck. They sat so close together on the bench seat that Sharon could feel the heat coming from Brenda's leg pressed against her own. The ruggedly handsome bartender kept up a constant chatter the whole way and Brenda tried to indulge him but her mind was elsewhere.

It was on the feeling of Sharon's mouth sucking chocolate off of hers. It was on the heat increasing between them. It was on how the weight of Sharon's breasts felt in her hands. It was on Sharon's face when her hand slipped between her slick folds. It was on why this was happening now.

It was on…what were they doing…

The beat up pickup slowed to a stop on the gravel driveway in front of Brenda's house. They both thanked him for the ride and slowly made their way to the backdoor.

They walked with four feet of distance between them. Any closer and the magnetism was too great.

Brenda pushed the unlocked door open and stood back letting Sharon enter first. Her eyes instinctively fell to Sharon's rear end squeezed into those tight jeans. Shaking her head, she followed and closed the door behind them.

Dim under cabinet lighting bathed the small country kitchen in a warm golden hue. Sharon, with her back still to Brenda, hung her purse on the back of one of the off-white kitchen chairs and continued slowly down the hallway. She knew Brenda was watching her. She could feel her eyes traveling up and down her body. For a split second she felt naked. Exposed.

But with a smirk on her lips she rocked her hips back and forth a little more than she needed to.

From being in the house earlier, she knew Brenda's room was on the left. She had dropped her luggage and changed in the room across the hall. Hearing Brenda's heels clacking slowly…so slowly on the hundred-year-old wooden floor behind her, she stopped between the two rooms. The footsteps stilled.

Sharon entered the guest room and pushed the door closed behind her. With her hand pressed against the cool wood door, she waited. Waited for the footsteps.

Brenda didn't know what game Sharon Raydor was playing or if it was a game at all. She stopped at the door that had just closed. She wanted to turn the glass knob and force Sharon to face what had happened between them. But, biting her bottom lip, Brenda turned and entered the bathroom at the end of the hallway.

It had been a long night and a hot shower would hopefully relax her tense body. But she knew it probably wouldn't.

Thru the thin walls, Sharon could hear the water running in the shower in the room adjacent to hers. Sitting on the upholstered benched at the end of the four-poster bed, she started peeling her boots and clothes off. As her hands pushed down the satin panties, her mind flashed back. Brenda's hands touching her. There. All over. Sighing, she pushed the image out of her head and continued to undress.

When she was completely naked, she flopped back across the full-sized bed. She scrubbed her hands over her face several times. And then the shrill of the water being turned off stopped her.

Brenda dried off and wrapped herself in the yellow towel. Tiptoeing back to her room, she didn't hear any movement coming out of Sharon's room and quickly and as quietly as possible entered her own room. She was too tired and still too dizzy from all the alcohol she consumed to find a set of pajamas. Climbing under the sheets and covers, Brenda tossed the damp towel onto the floor near the door.

Sighing, she burrowed into the pillow and let the images of the evening play in her mind.

Her body wouldn't let her forget any of it. As tired as she was and as buzzed as she still was, her body responded to those memories more than it had to anything anyone else had done to her in person.

Just before she succumbed to sleep, she heard a light shriek of a door. She didn't think it was anything and ignored it. But as the other side of her bed was weighted down, her eyes flew open. The room was so dark she couldn't see anything. She could only feel a presence beside her.

She wasn't afraid. It was her. She could smell her perfume. Her scent.

Sharon slowly, gently pulled the sheets back to reveal Brenda's body. Even with her eyes adjusted to the darkness she still couldn't see much more than a dark shadow against the white bedding.

She'd told herself she wasn't going to go into that room. But logic gave way to desire and now she was stretched out along side a very naked Brenda Leigh Johnson.

Dragging a fingertip up the top of Brenda's thigh and across her sharp pelvic bone, up the softness of her belly, over the curve of her breast and around a hardened nipple, Sharon heard Brenda suck in a gasp of air.

As her finger traced the outline of Brenda's lips, Sharon flicked her hot tongue over Brenda's distended nipple. Brenda's mouth fell open and sucked in the tip of Sharon's finger. She sucked on the tip with the same intensity and care that Sharon was sucking on her breast. Sharon felt the pull all the way to her toes.

Sharon removed her finger from Brenda's mouth but continued the assault on her rising and falling chest. Shifting her weight over Brenda's body, Sharon nipped and sucked the soft skin along the blonde's shoulders and around the plumpness of her breasts. She knew at times she was a little more harsh than she should have been when Brenda eeked out a slight yelp.

As she made her way further down Brenda's body, their arousal was evident which made her already wet apex throb even harder. Pulling the covers all the way off, Sharon was kneeling between Brenda's legs. Sitting on the backs of her heels, she could hear Brenda breathing before her. The labored, jagged breaths filling the otherwise quiet room.

With her hands on the tops of Brenda's thighs, Sharon rubbed the insides with her thumbs. She felt the muscles trembling beneath her manipulations. As she slowly worked her way higher she could feel the heat coming from Brenda's center. Biting her lip she forced herself to take her time.

Finally, Sharon placed her whole hand over Brenda's heat. The swollen lips slick beneath her touch. Dragging her middle finger from the top of her slit all the way to the bottom, Sharon smirked as a loud, deep moan flew out of Brenda's mouth. Working that same finger around in slow, slow circles, she felt Brenda bow her back off the bed in response.

She was sure she'd wake up in her own bed in California and this would all be a dream. A teenaged wet dream.

Sharon couldn't wait anymore. She wanted to feel her. Taste her. Do for Brenda what Brenda did to her. And without reserve, her mouth took the place of her finger and she devoured the woman before her. If Brenda said anything or made any noise, Sharon didn't hear it. She was completely focused on what she was doing. She learned what Brenda responded to most. What made the blonde squeal above her.

She circled and flicked Brenda's swollen clit with the tip of her tongue. As Brenda's hips bucked beneath her, Sharon knew she was so close. So very close. Securing her lips around the hard nub she sucked on it like she had with her nipple earlier.

Brenda grabbed at the back of Sharon's head as her orgasm crashed in glorious waves. Her arms fell away. Her legs shook violently. Behind her eyelids she only saw sparks. It took a few minutes for her body to come back down.

In all her years of sexual experience, Brenda had never experienced an explosion like that. She couldn't move. She couldn't speak. She could only feel. And after intense sex, she wanted to fall asleep against the woman who somehow found a way out of her dreams and into her bed.

Brenda curled up on her side waiting for Sharon to cuddle up behind her just like…just like Fritz did. With that thought, she was brought back to reality and quickly realized Sharon's weight wasn't on her bed anymore. And before she could call out her name, she heard the door click closed.

Paybacks are a bitch…chief.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning a jackhammer was steadily pounding in Brenda's head. For a brief moment she didn't remember anything from the previous night but then she moved an arm and her tender breasts brought it all back to her. Snap shots of everything that happened from the time Captain Sharon Raydor sauntered into the Tail Feather until she walked out of her bedroom flashed in her head. It hadn't been a dream after all.

But it wasn't like what she'd ever dreamed before. It wasn't love. It wasn't romance. It was sex. That's all it was. Right?

Her eyes darted to her closed door. She heard rustling coming from outside but couldn't make out the specific sounds. Then a bacon scented wave flirted with her nose. Her stomach growled in response.

Unfolding herself out of the bed, she threw on a silk robe not bothering to put on anything underneath it.

Sharon liked good food. Good, homemade, healthy food. But when she woke up the only thing she wanted was greasy, crispy bacon, fried eggs and white bread toast. Her hangover wasn't as bad as she expected but compounded by the fact that she had let her body govern her brain last night was eating at her insides.

She hadn't lost control. No, Sharon Raydor was never out of control. But she did, however, overstep very big boundaries. And she was teetering oh so very close to the edge. No one had ever taken her to the edge before. She'd never allowed anyone to. Not until Brenda Leigh Johnson.

As she shook the thoughts from her head, she heard Brenda pad barefoot into the kitchen. With her back still turned away she took a breath and waited for her to speak.

"Good mornin'." Brenda croaked. Her voice was harsh and rasped from too much alcohol and too many deep, guttural moans. She noticed Sharon was dressed impeccably of course. A perfectly tailored pair of dark grey slacks replaced the blue jeans, a light blue silk blouse and expensive pair of black pumps completed the ensemble. Her chestnut brown hair didn't have a strand out of place.

Sharon spun around on her heels. With her hands firmly at her waist she cocked her head to the side with an inquisitive look.

"What?" Brenda asked.

"Why aren't you ready?" She sat a plate of bacon and eggs and toast in front of Brenda perched at the breakfast bar.

Brenda picked up the silverware to her right. She was amazed that she even had silverware. Usually she ate with the plastic set that came in the bag of takeout or picked up her sandwich and chips with her fingers.

Dragging the knife across the plate she watched the bright yellow egg yolk spread slowly around the bacon and soak into the toast. How did Sharon know exactly what she needed that morning? With the tip of her fork she picked up a sliver of white egg and drug it thru its yolk. It was heaven on her tongue. Taking a bite of the crispy bacon she finally asked, "ready for what?"

"To go back to LA for your trial. You can't put it off anymore."

Brenda finished the rest of her breakfast in silence. Afterwards, she huffed back to her bedroom like a child being sent to her room for punishment. She didn't want to go back to LA. In LA everything was real again. Tearing off her robe she slung it across the room and turned around to find Sharon leaning against the door jamb with her arms folded across her chest. She wasn't sure but she thought she detected a hint of a smirk playing at her lips.

"I'm not forcing you to go. But it is in your best interest, obviously." Sharon stared into her brown eyes. The same color as the chocolate she had licked off her mouth not more than a few hours before. Mistakenly she let her eyes drop to the naked body standing before her. She hadn't gotten to see her body last night in the dark. But it was just as she had imagined. She learned every curve, every sensitive spot, every inch last night.

Her eyes stopped on a bright red mark just at the inside curve of the bottom her left breast. She remembered putting that there. Not on purpose, of course. Somewhere deep inside her she liked knowing she'd marked her. And that shocked her more than anything.

"Was that what last night was about? Getting me to let my guard down so I'd go back with you?" Brenda was mad.

"Last night…" Sharon narrowed her eyes the tiniest bit. "Last night had nothing to do with anything…except for something that shouldn't have happened."

The briefest second of hurt flashed across Brenda's face before she lifted her chin and pursed her lips. How could they do what they did…twice…and just forget about it? Brenda knew Sharon was affected by it. But stoic, by-the-book, stick up her ass Captain Sharon Raydor wouldn't admit it or open the stone gate locking back her emotions.

"I'll be ready to go in an hour." Brenda declared harshly.

With that, Sharon turned swiftly on the ball of her foot and left a naked Brenda standing in the middle of her room without a second glance.

While waiting for Brenda, Sharon slowly rocked back and forth in one of the old white rocking chairs on the front porch. It really was peaceful out here but it wasn't her cup of tea. She stared into the trees. Into the sky. At the butterflies. At nothing. She was angry at herself for allowing such a horrible, destructive indulgence to take place. She was the one with the level head. But one touch from a wily ex-chief and she was brought to her knees…literally.

An hour later they were out of "the woods" and back on the interstate. She let Brenda drive because, after all, this was her world and she knew her way around but after several too quick turns and near-misses with a few eighteen-wheelers, Sharon was second guessing that decision.

Brenda had dressed in a flowery blue and white skirt that was flirting with the top of her knee. The same knee that was most sensitive when the back of it was licked. Sharon blew out a long breath and turned her attentions out the window.

They hadn't spoken much until Brenda finally got fed up enough.

"So we're just supposed to forget last night happened?" The blonde asked without looking at her companion.

"That's right. It was a misstep in judgment. You have to realize that." Sharon replied without looking from the passing scenery.

"How can you just forget…" She wanted to say great sex…mind-blowing sex but she didn't.

"Because you have to. You're married." The last two words came out a slow whisper.

Brenda kept her eyes focused on the road in front of her but she pulled at her bottom lip with her teeth. "What if I weren't?"

Sharon Raydor's head whipped around faster than it should have but it was a knee-jerk reaction to the simple yet powerful question. She didn't know how to respond or if she should.

Out of the corner of her eye, Brenda could see Sharon staring at her with her mouth slightly ajar.

"What if I weren't…married?" Brenda repeated slower.


	5. Chapter 5

The plane ride back to LA was excruciating. The tension between the two women sitting in seats 21 E and F, respectively, couldn't be any thicker. And the question…the question…hadn't been answered. Sharon avoided the question directly. What if I weren't married? What kind of question was that? That would throw a whole new loop into the fray. But the prospects certainly had her thinking and questioning.

Arriving in LA, Sharon dropped Brenda off at her house without a second glance or a touch. But the urge was there…for both of them. It may, on the surface, have just been sex but deep down it was more than that. Much more.

Sharon's brain was completely dead by the time she picked up Rusty from Lt. Tao's home. After a few rounds of rock, paper, scissors with the rest of the team he had finally won…or lost. But technically, he was the best suited to care for Rusty since he had a son who was close in age and a wife who would look after Rusty.

"You look like shit." Rusty observed as he got into her car.

Sharon rolled her eyes and smirked. "Thank you very much." She clenched her jaw tight knowing he was probably right. She felt like shit. She wished the last two days hadn't happened. But they had. And they weren't two that she would soon forget.

Five days later Sharon was sitting in her office rereading a report she'd already attempted to read three times before. Tossing her glasses onto the wooden desk, she rubbed her tired eyes with the heels of her hands.

She hadn't gotten much sleep and it was starting to show. Every time she laid her head down on the pillow her thoughts immediately went to the deep woods of Georgia. Her skin pricked as the stale smell of an old country bar and sweet whiskey inundated her senses. But it wasn't that that kept her awake. It was the soft, hot skin of a certain blonde.

As her eyes refocused she noticed her team through the windows. Then she noticed what…or who they were surrounding. It was her. Sharon watched through the open blinds as Brenda Leigh Johnson smiled and laughed with her old friends. She suddenly felt strange sitting in that office. Her old office. Like she was intruding.

She hadn't seen her since dropping her off in front of her house the evening they returned from Atlanta. Her eyes were fixed on the woman who had turned her world upside down. And before she could avert her eyes, Brenda turned and like an assassin's gun their eyes locked on each other. Through glass, plastic blinds and eight men there was a fire.

Sharon watched Brenda turn back to Provenza and Flynn. She blew out a puff of air hoping the blonde would soon be gone as fast as she had come.

Turning her attention back to the same report, she was startled when the door of her office opened with a jolt. Her head jerked up and there she was. Luckily, Sharon was used to keeping her emotions in check so Brenda Leigh, hopefully, couldn't see the shock and fear in her face.

"Chief Johnson, what can I help you with?" Sharon clicked her pen closed and sat back in her chair.

Brenda cocked her head to the right. "Really?" Closing the door behind her she eyed the guys outside pretending not to look at the two of them. They probably half expected a full blown cat fight. She thought about closing the blinds to indulge them a bit but decided against it.

The only reason she came up to Major Crimes was to see Sharon Raydor. She had to see her. It had been five torturous days. She didn't think it would be like this. No, she was strong and able to put things behind her. But not this time.

Turning back around she noticed the split second Sharon's eyes roved up from where she had been looking at her behind. Those darkened green eyes blinked their way up to face. A smile formed on her mouth in response.

"You think it's funny? Why are you here?" Sharon was getting frustrated…with herself.

Brenda giggled and bit her bottom lip. "I wanted to see you. See if you'd changed your mind." She ran the tip of her finger over the curve of her exposed breast. She'd worn a low cut sweater on purpose.

Sharon crossed her arms over her chest to hide her own body's response. "Changed my mind about what?"

"About us."

"Are you still married?"

Brenda narrowed her eyes.

"Brenda, I lived my whole adult life with a cheater. I know how it feels. I'm not going to be that person."

Brenda pursed her lips. "You already are that person," she spat. Turning quickly on her heels she exited the office and slammed the door behind her.

Walking into her condo an hour later, Sharon tossed her bag and keys on the entry way table, toed off her shoes and walked straight to the refrigerator for the bottle of wine that was waiting for her. Rusty was sitting at the kitchen table doing his homework.

"Did you eat?" She asked as she walked by him.

"Yeah, a sandwich. I made you one. It's in the fridge."

Sharon smiled at the gesture. Of all he had been through, Rusty was really growing up and becoming a responsible young man.

"Thank you." She grabbed the chardonnay bottle and the plate with the turkey sandwich on it.

Brenda laid in bed with her back turned to Fritz's side. Thankfully he was working a case and wouldn't be home until the morning at the earliest. She didn't need his distraction. It was bad enough that she was sleeping fitfully but she couldn't avoid him much longer.

Of course she loved Fritz. He had been there when no one else was. But her body and mind were in a tizzy. She couldn't get Sharon Raydor out from under her skin. Every time she closed her eyes she felt her touching her. Her body shivered just thinking about it. Her nipples hardened and ached to be touched.

Reaching under her pillow she searched for her cell phone. It didn't take but a second to find a contact.

I need you. She typed and didn't hesitate to hit send. Sliding her hand into the top of her satin nightie, she brushed over the sensitive nub. Half way not expecting a response to her text she closed her eyes and slowly massaged first her left nipple then her right.

The chirping of her phone startled her.

[Don't do this, Brenda.] The response read.

Please. She typed her reply hurriedly. Brenda Leigh Johnson wasn't accustomed to begging. She never had to. But she couldn't forget her. She couldn't forget the sex. She needed it all like a drug. And it almost angered her how desperate she was.

Sharon Raydor kicked the covers off her bed. The heat was unbearable. I need you. She read and reread the message. She'd never been told she was needed before. She had used men for sex before but that was for her own needs. And for the most part those men knew that. There was an unspoken agreement always. She didn't kiss and tell and neither did they.

But this was different.

Sharon kicked herself for being that person who hadn't taken all parties into consideration. She wasn't a cheater and Brenda was. She was the other woman when Will Pope was cheating with her. She told herself she would never take a man away from his wife. She had been the wife whose husband came home late smelling like Dior and avoiding her touches. She knew what it was like to sit at home and wonder and worry.

Fritz didn't deserve any of this. He'd always stood by Brenda. He didn't deserve it.

Please.


	6. Chapter 6

Sharon had avoided Brenda for almost a full week. She knew what they did was wrong and until she could figure out a way to make it right or at least make amends, she needed to avoid her at all costs. It was hard enough having to suffer through the memories of that night. They were like a double-edged sword.

But it was Friday and it didn't look like her team would have to work the weekend unless a case opened up in the next…she looked at her wristwatch…two hours. Two hours to finish reading over one more report and signing her name to a few confessions that DDA Hobbs would be picking up at 5:00 and she'd be ready to call it a night.

Rusty was staying the weekend with Lt. Tao's son Kevin again. It was nice that he was finally making friends his own age. And after the weeks she'd had, she needed time alone. But that always left her with her own thoughts and memories of the back woods of Georgia. That double-edged sword again.

With her head bent over the stack of papers, she had her pen in hand and ready to sign off on the last confession. Her door suddenly burst open and there stood the one person she didn't want to see at that moment.

Clicking her pen closed and tossing it on her desk she folded her arms across her chest. "Brenda, you can't keep…" And then she noticed the person standing behind her giving her the most peculiar look. "DDA Hobbs,…um I have your paperwork right here." She picked up the folder on her desk obviously ignoring the smirking Brenda standing in front of her.

DDA Hobbs walked further into the office then. "Thank you, Captain. I wanted to come by a little early and introduce you to our new chief of bureau investigation." And to that Brenda smiled a wide knowing smile.

"You?" Sharon raised her eyebrows. She knew it was in Brenda's blood to be in law enforcement but the District Attorney's office?

The blonde raised her chin. "Yes. Is that going to be a problem, Captain?" She emphasized the last word on purpose.

"Of course not." Sharon stood up behind her desk.

DDA Hobbs watched the tension mount between them. She couldn't pinpoint what it was but there was something. Maybe a restructuring of power? Position take over? She'd worked with Brenda long enough to know the southern belle wouldn't like dealing with another woman in her former position of power or her office. Of course they weren't hers anymore.

The other door to her office swung open and in stepped Dr. Morales. He rarely came up from the Coroner's office to MCD.

"Chief Johnson, I'm so glad you're here. You too, Andrea." He looked DDA Hobbs' grey suit up and down. "I'm throwing myself a boot scootin' boogy birthday party…tonight. And you all have to come. It's an order. HA! Oh and wear your finest country and western wear."

Sharon's hand flew to her suddenly flushed chest. The thought of a country bar brought the sultry memories right back to her. She could almost smell the whiskey again. She saw Brenda cut her eyes over at her but didn't acknowledge her glance.

He laid three embossed theme invitations on the corner of Sharon's desk. The velvet cowboy hat on the front stood off the cream linen paper.

Before exiting he said, "No excuses—be there or suffer the consequences. This is THE event of the year." The door closed behind him and the three women stood speechless in the office.

"So…I guess I'll see you ladies later." Andrea Hobbs took one of the invitations, her paperwork and said her goodbyes.

The two women stood there for several long, silent moments.

"This will be interesting." Brenda raised her left eyebrow.

Sharon plopped herself down in the black leather chair again. "I'm not going."

"If you want to keep Morales on your good side you'll go." Rummaging in her purse, she pulled out a small item and leaned across the front of Sharon's desk…her old desk…making sure her cleavage was front and center. She set the single Hershey kiss on Sharon's stack of papers and smiled then turned and walked out of the room.

At 7pm that evening, Sharon was laying across her bed staring at the ceiling. Her week had gone perfectly fine until the last hour of the last day. It was pissing her off that she was letting this incident get to her like it was. She'd had relationships and even one-night stands before and that was it. The ties were cut right after…if they were ever made to begin with.

But this was different. As much as she tried to force herself to forget it happened. She couldn't. But tonight they would have to mutually agree to put it behind them – for both their sakes.

First she had to get back into the clothes she bought for Georgia. They were, of course, her only country and western wear.

It took eight trips into her closet before Brenda decided on the right outfit to wear to the party. Of course she wanted to adhere to Dr. Morales' dress code but she mostly wanted to wear the perfect something to entice a certain brunette captain. And she couldn't wait to see Sharon in her blue jeans again. They accentuated the soft, full curve of her behind perfectly.

Standing in her bra and panties in the doorway of her closest she closed her eyes remembering how it felt when she sunk her fingers into Sharon's hot flesh as her mouth devoured her sweet body. Her own body responded immediately and she felt the dampness build between her legs.

She didn't hear Fritz come into the room. She'd told him about the party earlier so he would get home at a reasonable hour. Although she thought he would immediately balk at the prospect of the party, she was surprised at his enthusiasm.

The feel of his strong arms circling her bare waist from behind didn't startle her. For her, it was Sharon Raydor behind her. Sharon's hands splayed across her belly. He hummed into the side of her neck as his lips closed over the soft skin where her neck met her shoulder. Leaning her head back against him, it wasn't his mouth on her. She hadn't even consciously realized it was him. It was like her dream was manifesting itself.

She moaned and squeezed her eyes shut as his hand slid down her and under the lace band of her silk panties. His fingers glided through her arousal. She rocked herself back and forth against his fingers.

"Wow." She didn't hear him say.

But as she felt the hardness of him grow behind her she was brought back to reality.

"Oh Fritz." She breathed. "We're…we're going to be late." She moved out of his grasp and turned around to see the confusion on his face.

He stepped toward her. "Come on, Brenda." He wanted her that was clear. "We can be…what is it…fashionably late." She sidestepped his out reached arms.

She was turned on but it wasn't because of him. And for a second a bit of shame passed through her. He was her husband. He was the man she married. He was the man who loved her. He was the man who satisfied her…or so she thought.

He was disappointed that his advances were shot down but didn't think anything about it. He'd been denied before. And he knew she hadn't been herself ever since she came back from Georgia. The impending trial had to be weighing heavily on her mind.

An hour later they walked into a country and western bar in the middle of West Hollywood. Dr. Morales had apparently reserved the whole place for his private party.

Brenda had to laugh as she walked in. The guys in the Tail Feather would not know what to do in a place like this. The country and western theme was taken to the extreme. More than a half dozen "cowboy" servers in purple leather chaps and bare chests carried drinks around the room on glittery trays.

The wooden bar and mirror behind vaguely reminded her of her bar. Of course hers wasn't manned by a burley woman name Max. Although she could probably give Wayne a good run for his money in a cocktail mixing contest. The woman obviously knew what she was doing as bottles flipped and tossed around.

Seeing her team…her friends in the back corner she pushed through the wild crowd. Both she and Fritz happily greeted each of them. Lt. Tao was dressed in a blue and white checked shirt over blue jeans. Buzz's cow print faux-suede pants and white fringed shirt certainly made a statement. She was glad to see him relax.

"Lieutenant." She put an arm around Provenza's shoulder and took in his silver-tipped cowboy boots up to his black ten-gallon cowboy hat. And in between—a black leather vest over a denim shirt and jeans held up with a belt and a buckle the size of a small dish. She could only shake her head.

"Chief." He smiled. He would always call her that. He didn't know what to call her otherwise. It just wasn't right.

They all made their small talk and wished the birthday boy a happy day. He was, of course, busy being the hostess with the mostess.

While having a conversation with Detective Sanchez, Brenda didn't see Sharon Raydor join their group behind her. It wasn't until that deep, silky voice sent shivers up her spine did she realize Sharon had arrived. Turning around, she slowly took in the sight before her.

Sharon wore the same tight jeans and designer cowboy boots as she had in Georgia. But this time she wore a silk turquoise blouse with pearl buttons. Brenda held her breath when she realized Sharon was watching her looking at her.

Luckily no one else noticed the inferno that immediately lit between them. But as soon as it sparked, Morales stepped with a tray of shots lined up for them all. He even had two shots of water for Fritz and Lt. Flynn.

DDA Hobbs arrived just in time for the group throw back. Morales made sure the three shots called Buttery Nipples were given to Sharon, Brenda and Andrea Hobbs. Sharon tried to pass and said she wasn't drinking but Morales wouldn't hear of it.

Brenda watched Sharon tentatively place the small glass against her bottom lip. She'd watched her do the same thing with a shot of whiskey. There was nothing outwardly sexy about it but it was subtly the hottest thing Brenda had ever seen her do.

The night progressed and after accommodating Dr. Morales with the first shot Brenda switched to her comfort: Merlot. It was quite obvious to her that Sharon was avoiding her. But she could also see that Sharon was distracted by her. And that made her avoidance almost enjoyable.

It was a little game now. And Brenda would happily play along.

Sharon Raydor didn't want to go to any bar. She'd had enough of bars. But Dr. Morales was her colleague and Brenda was right, Sharon needed to keep him on her good side. It was in the best interest of her department.

As soon as she walked through the door she spotted the person who constantly kept her mind and body in a tangle. The white trim of her flirty denim skirt barely reached the top of her knee. And the red, form-fitting top buttoned just to the middle of her clearly exposed cleavage. And Sharon knew immediately the Brenda had dressed that way on purpose.

Ever since they returned from Georgia, Brenda had been wearing more skin exposing items. Sharon wasn't stupid and she wasn't blind. But she had to be smart. Had to be.

It took all her will to avoid Brenda as best she could throughout the night. But she couldn't help but catch those dark brown eyes burning into her.

She'd told herself that tonight would be the night she would make Brenda understand that they couldn't keep doing what they were doing and put behind them what they had done. But every time she caught sight of the blonde laughing and sipping her wine, clips from that night in Georgia kept flashing in her mind.

Sharon excused herself out of the conversation she was having with Andy Flynn and Buzz and headed towards the ladies room. She had to step away for a moment or she'd lose her courage to talk to Brenda. Every brain cell and common sense bubble in her body told her that she was making the right decision for no other reason but for the fact that Brenda was married.

Sharon had wrestled with that every day. She didn't want to be the other woman or the reason for breaking up a marriage or anything similar. She'd been on the wrong end of that scenario before.

The one shot coupled with the few glasses of wine she had indulged in made her hear a little swimmy. Stepping out of the stall she nearly stumbled over her own feet.

"We really should stop meetin' like this, captain." Brenda, standing in front of the sink, was dragging a tube of red lipstick across her lips.

Sharon stopped dead in her tracks and through the reflection of the mirror above the sink could see the sexy smirk on Brenda's face. Looking around to make sure no on else was in the restroom, Sharon walked up directly behind Brenda and said over her shoulder, "we have to talk."

Brenda turned around and they were only inches apart. Anyone walking through the door would be suspicious of their closeness. But both stood their ground. They could literally feel the heat between their bodies.

"I don't want to talk dammit." Brenda whispered – her eyes drifting down to Sharon's pouty lips. "I want to kiss you."

But before Brenda could lean in Sharon backed away. If she felt Brenda's lips on hers it would be all over. Her plan would be shot to hell and she couldn't afford to get pulled back into Brenda's web. But damn it was tempting. So tempting. She knew what it was like to feel Brenda sucking on her lips and sliding her hot tongue into her mouth.

Sharon shook the thoughts from her head.

"We can't do this anymore, Brenda." She saw Brenda open her mouth to retort. "And you know why."

This time she did speak. "But you know you want it. I want it. You want it."

"It's not that easy." Sharon insisted.

Brenda reached out and ran the tip of her finger down the button front of Sharon's blouse and around the underside of her left breast.

"It could be."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It goes without saying...but I'm going to say it anyway...as with most fics the core characters may or may not follow how you saw them on tv. Of course this is what fiction means. So with this story there may be liberties taken that may push the boundaries with how you "think" these characters would approach a situation.
> 
> All I can say is...this is how they do it in my story.
> 
> And...there will be some twists and turns in this one so hold on...
> 
> Again, thank you for reading and commenting and enjoy.

The last tie that was holding everything together for Sharon snapped. And all it took was brush of a finger and the upturned corners of a beautiful, red-tinged mouth. Sharon grabbed Brenda by the arms and pulled her to her. Their bodies melded and their lips crushed together.

It wasn't soft and sweet. Nothing of the sort. It was hot and demanding.

After several long seconds she let her go leaving Brenda standing there out of breath with her red lipstick smeared. Sharon took a paper towel from the metal holder and wiped the effects off her own mouth.

She turned and looked at the stunned Brenda over her shoulder just prior exiting the small room. "Isn't that what you wanted?" she said before the door closed behind her.

Brenda turned and stared at herself in the dirty mirror. Her head still cloudy from that kiss and the wine and the buttery nipple. "Oh that woman!" She stomped her right foot into the ground. She knew she wouldn't let Sharon kiss her like that and walk away. Game on!

Sharon walked back into the noisy bar with her head held high but her insides were like jelly. She shouldn't have done that. She knew better. But something took over her body and she did it. Made a mistake: yes. Regret it:…no.

As fast as it was it filled a void that she had since Georgia. Whether it was the alcohol clouding her judgment or something else, tonight she would enjoy having a little fun with a stubborn blonde.

Andy Flynn caught her on her way back from the bar with another glass of wine. She admired his sobriety in a place of such inebriation. And any other day she would be casting sideways glances his way. She'd had, for years, a dull, hidden attraction to him. And every once in awhile she got the same vibe from him. But of course, being the professionals that they were, they never acknowledged it. And now with Brenda so engrained in her she'd almost forgotten those tingly, schoolgirl feelings she'd had for him.

"Captain…" He got her attention and she spun around sloshing some of the wine out of her glass. "Do you think you should slow down a little?" He was talking about her drinking. The meandering walk back from the bar told him she was more than a little tipsy. He remembered that walk well.

Sharon's eyes widened. She didn't want her team to see her discomposed. She had to gain their respect at work and after. "I'm fine, Lieutenant. Just enjoying a party and…and I'm not accustomed to wearing cowboy boots." Her deep laugh made him swallow a little harder than he'd like and he almost choked himself.

"They are um…they're nice boots." He looked down at the intricately stitched leather boots. He didn't know one boot from the next but he knew she looked good in them. Different. Warmer. Sexier. He couldn't admit to anyone that he had a crush on the beautiful captain. But he was lonely…had been for years and thinking about her helped ease it even if just a little.

Over his shoulder she saw Brenda emerge from the restroom. It made Sharon smile the slightest of smiles seeing Brenda looking so out of sorts knowing she did that. She knew Brenda liked to be the one in control and for those few moments Sharon had taken control and left Brenda in her wake.

Andy was talking to her but she didn't hear a word he said. Her eyes trailed Brenda to the bar and then to the neon jukebox. This machine was unlike the classic one in the Tail Feather.

"How's it going, Captain?" The arrival of Special Agent Howard by her side broke her concentration.

Sharon took a gulp of her wine before speaking. "It's a great party isn't it?" He smiled knowing she was way out of her high-end element.

She had to take another quick drink as Brenda walked up and stopped next to Fritz. The four of them, Andy, Fritz, Brenda and Sharon stood together making small talk. Brenda wasn't saying much but Sharon noticed her occasionally running her fingers across her slightly swollen lips. She'd reapplied the smeared lipstick.

Then the song that she'd only heard once before but one she would never forget came from the jukebox. The same beat. The same steel guitar. The same deep sultry twang.

Her eyes immediately flew to Brenda's who was already gazing at her. It was the same song that was playing when the sparks between them caught fire in the woods of Georgia. Sharon could still feel her chest tighten like it had there staring at Brenda in the mirror behind that old bar.

Fritz turned his ear up recognizing the song then put his arm around Brenda's waist pulling her close to his side. "I haven't heard this one in a long time. Used to be Brenda's favorite song. And I love tight fittin' jeans." He twanged as he bent and kissed just under her ear.

But Brenda's eyes never left Sharon's. "Yes." Is all she said as she smiled.

"Andy!" Sharon turned to Lt. Flynn. Her voice a bit higher than usual. "Dance with me?"

Andy Flynn looked confused and a bit frightened. He'd never seen the captain let her hair down, so to speak. But he wouldn't pass up an opportunity to get closer to her. He held out his hand for her and when she accepted it he spun her into his arms. Over his shoulder she handed her empty wine glass to a sneering Brenda.

Brenda could only stand there and watch as Sharon and Lt. Flynn two-stepped their way around the dance floor. She pulled her lips into a tight thin line when she noticed Andy's hand moving lower on Sharon's hip. It was almost a territorial thing for her. That's where her hand had been. That's the hip she knew. The one with the freckle right above the hip bone. The one that trembled when…

The brunette hadn't danced in years…many years. But at least it was an easy dance. Andy was quite a prolific dancer. She had no idea. As hard as she tried she couldn't keep her eyes from finding Brenda in the crowd. She smiled over Andy's shoulder when she noticed Brenda seething on the side of the dance floor. Barely noticing Andy pulling her a bit closer and his hand low on her hip, Sharon let him lead her around.

Sharon tried to block the song from her head. It brought back too many Georgian memories. And she knew Brenda had played it on purpose just to get under her skin. And it had been working until she felt Andy's hand slide around her waist and rest low…very low on her back.

He pulled her close until both of his arms were around her waist. In her mind she knew this was wrong. She was his superior officer but she didn't fight it. 90% of her didn't fight it because it obviously got to Brenda but that last 10 percent was because it really did feel good to be in someone's arms.

Brenda finally took her eyes off of Sharon. It was only then that she noticed Fritz nuzzling her neck.

His lips placing kisses all along her jaw and neck. But she didn't want to leave.

The song had ended and Sharon and Andy made their way back towards Brenda and Fritz. Brenda tried to get Fritz to stop loving on her before they could see or hear him but he wouldn't.

"Let's go home and finish what we started earlier." He didn't care who saw or heard. She was his wife and he loved showering her with affection and more so when it slightly embarrassed her.

Sharon obviously heard what he had said by the look on her face. Brenda jabbed him in the gut with her elbow and he stood up straight with a sheepish smile.

As they stood there in silence, the room deafening around them, Sharon realized at that moment that she wanted to kiss Brenda again. She wanted to do more than kiss her. She wanted to touch her, feel her, taste her, love her. It was just the wine making her feel that way she told herself. But it hit her like a proverbial ton of bricks.

"Andy." Sharon's deep voice barely audible over the music and the crowd. "Take me home." Andy's eyes lit up like a horny 17-year-old boy but Brenda's eyes ignited with boiling flames of fire.

Andy quickly excused himself to say his goodbyes to the other guys and Fritz joined him leaving the two women in a face-off. Brenda touched her lips again reminding Sharon of what they had done. But how could she forget? How could she forget the ten best seconds she'd had in weeks? Ten seconds that almost buckled her knees…again.

"Are you seriously going to let him take you home?" Brenda finally asked.

Sharon put her hands on her waist defiantly. "I'm obviously in no shape to drive myself in my condition. It would be against my oath of office to put the citizens of this city in danger due to any erratic, unlawful behavior of mine."

"You know what I mean." Brenda raised her eyebrow.

Sharon did know what she meant. But she didn't know the answer. Her mind was in a tailspin. One minute she wanted to forget her and everything that happened. But the next minute she wanted to relive every moment of that night over and over again. She had to get control of her feelings one way or the other.

Could a night with Andy Flynn make her forget about Brenda Leigh Johnson? Or would it do more harm than good?


	8. Chapter 8

Andy and Sharon rode the full five miles from the West Hollywood party to her Los Feliz condo in nervous silence. Neither wanted to admit to what was on their minds. And if she thought about it hard enough, Sharon could taste the waxy tang of Brenda's lipstick on her lips. But now she had to put it behind her.

She looked over at Andy who had a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel. The sight almost made her laugh. They were like two teenagers on their first date.

But her life was much more complicated than that of a dating teen. Tonight she had a choice to make. One that might change the course of her life dramatically – both personally and professionally. The alcohol in her system was still very prevalent so making a good decision should have proven to be a hard task.

Sharon Raydor had used sex to forget her problems in the past and she only hoped it would work again this time. She was sliding down a very slippery slope with Andy Flynn though and she knew it. But her judgment was clouded and not just from the wine she'd had.

He parked outside her condo building and turned the engine of his car off. Sitting back in the seat he stared down at his hands folded in his lap. He wanted to look at her but he didn't. Taking quick glances of her when she wasn't aware was something he enjoyed but now that she was right there and he could look all he wanted…he couldn't do it. It was almost humorous to watch him.

"Can you help me to my door, please?" She slurred quietly then swallowed the lump in her throat.

Finally he turned to her and smiled a dimpled grin. "I'd be happy to."

Andy grasped her arm to steady her wobbly legs as they made their way up to her floor. He hadn't planned for this to happen but he certainly wasn't going to pass on a chance to be with the woman who crept into his dreams at night. It was always on his mind as to what she kept hidden under those suits and behind that badge. And now he'd get his chance to find out. All night he'd watched her drink her wine and bat her sultry eyes and now he'd get his reward.

Sharon fumbled with her key in the door lock and when she finally got the door unlocked she turned abruptly and came chest to chest with Andy behind her. His body pressed into hers and her eyes widened. She leaned in slightly just about to touch her lips to his when he pulled away. In her drunken head she'd made her decision.

"Wait." Confusion cloaked her face. "Inside?" He asked. Even in her state of mind he couldn't allow her to be embarrassed in the hallway of her own building.

They fumbled their way inside and he kicked the door closed behind him. He wasn't interested in the décor or layout. He was only interested in getting his hands and anything else on her. His lust for her had been building slowly…so very slowly for years. And it was only that…lust. On any given day Captain Sharon Raydor perplexed him and infuriated him to no end.

Instantly he grasped her waist and pulled her body tightly to his. Dragging his hands up her sides he grunted softly when he finally felt the soft fullness of her breasts. He knew she could feel his arousal building between them by the look on her face. She wasn't the doe eyed captain everyone saw at MCD. She was a wanton, lusty woman who knew what she wanted.

Burying his head against the side of her neck he breathed in her perfume. She smelled sweet and spicy which made him want her even more. When she wrapped her arms around his back and curled her leg around his he almost lost it right there.

A deep, guttural moan escaped from her as he sucked her earlobe into his mouth while rubbing slow, deliberate circles with the pads of his thumbs around her pebbled nipples. Just as he was kissing and nipping along her jaw he stopped.

Remembering he had to do something he hated to do but it had to be done. It was too tempting and he couldn't afford to slipup even just once. Even though it practically killed him to have to stop what he was doing.

Andy rested his forehead on her shoulder and sighed.

"What's wrong?" She husked. Obviously she didn't want him to stop.

He stepped away and scrubbed his face with the palms of his hands. "Ugh. I hate this. Can you…I can't taste the wine on your lips or mouth or..." He threw his head back in disgusted. He hated this damn disease. "Please, Sharon. Can you…?"

She put her hand on his chest to show that she clearly understood what he was asking. He had worked so hard to stay away from any temptation. And she would never forgive herself if she was the reason why he faltered.

Without a word she walked down the hall and into the bathroom that adjoined her bedroom. But it wasn't until she'd bent over the sink, splashed cold water on her face then stood back up that she saw herself in the mirror. She looked deep into her own red rimmed eyes and saw what she was blinded to before.

She'd hastily made a decision based on desire…drunken desire but more importantly based on her trying to push one thing to the forefront when what she was really wanted was lurking in the background.

Slowly she made her way back into the living room. Her stomach dropped when she saw Andy standing at the picture windows and staring out at the twinkling LA lights in the city below.

Andy's heart jumped when he heard the clack of her boots approaching behind him. But when he turned around he knew something had changed. Her shoulders drooped. But the look on her face told more than any words could…and he understood.

He shook his head and shrugged. "Don't." He held up his hand as she came closer. Andy knew the face of remorse and she had it.

"I can't do this to you, Andy. Putting my career in jeopardy is one thing but I can't do that to you." She managed but it was hard to look at him. She hated hurting him because before a few weeks ago she would have jumped at the chance to be with him. But something changed in her. And it was then that the blonde haired, brown eyed beauty appeared in her mind.

Swiftly making his way to the front door, he suddenly stopped and turned back to her. "It's a two-way street, you know. You didn't force me to come here or make my decision for me. I'm a big boy. I know the consequences of my actions, Captain." He stressed the last word on purpose then walked out of her condo.

Fritz hurried his wife out of the party as fast as he could. He was in the mood for something other than a gay honky tonk party. Although he did enjoy it quite a bit more than he thought he would. Morales knew how to entertain a crowd. And everyone seemed to have a great time. There certainly was an interesting cast of characters.

But ever since he walked into their bedroom earlier that evening and found Brenda to be in a state of arousal he couldn't think of anything but getting her back home and into bed. Between hectic work hours and her unsuredness regarding the trial she hadn't been in an amorous mood since returning from Georgia. And he missed his wife.

Brenda sat in the passenger seat as the nightlife passed by the window. But she saw none of it. The only thing she saw was Andy Flynn…her friend, Andy Flynn with his hands all over her…all over Sharon. It shouldn't have bothered her but it did. It pissed her off actually. She shook the image out of her head.

She was glad Fritz had hauled her out of there. She didn't need to consume any more liquor than she already had. Her head felt like it was going to spin off at any minute as it was. The wine had gone to her head a long time ago but the giggling was taking its time rearing its head. She was a giggly drunk and everyone knew it. One minute she was seething and the next she was giggling.

Pulling into the driveway, Fritz turned off the car and got the both of them inside as fast as possible. He couldn't remember a time when he'd been so…randy. He laughed to himself over that old fashioned word but it fit. He practically carried her to the bedroom as she giggled in his ear. He loved that sound.

He tossed her gently onto the bed and climbed in over her latching his mouth onto hers in a deep hungry kiss. As he flopped over onto his back and pulled her on top of him her face immediately turned an interesting shade of green. Thinking it was just a shadow or the lighting he started to rip open her shirt. He couldn't care less about the buttons or anything else at that moment.

But before he could pull the seam apart, Brenda's hands flew to her mouth and she leaped off of him and the bed before sprinting to the bathroom. Thankfully she made it to the toilet before the contents of the day spilled forth from her like hot lava. Laying her head against the cool porcelain, she nearly regretted the whole evening but then she remembered that kiss. The kiss.

"Are you okay?" Fritz had poked his head around the door frame.

She nodded as best she could. "Yes, Fritzy. Just go to bed." He looked disappointed but he turned and left her alone. He knew that was the end of any romance that would be happening tonight.

Brenda sat on the cold bathroom floor longer than she thought. Soon enough she heard Fritz snoring from the other room. Climbing into a hot shower she was glad her head had finally stopped spinning as much as it had been. But with a sobered mind came thoughts of what had transpired and not just the past few hours but the past days and weeks.

She held her head under the hot running water hoping it would wash away her thoughts of Sharon Raydor but it didn't work. All she could think about was Sharon in bed with Lieutenant Flynn writhing and moaning. The same things she'd done with her in Georgia. The way her long slender neck jutted forward when she threw her head back in ecstasy. The taste of her skin. The feel of her fingers grasping at her skin.

Shutting off the water, she stepped out and didn't bother drying off. She pulled the terry cloth robe from the hook on the wall and tugged it around her. She wasn't ready to go to bed. Her mind was still racing and laying in that bed would only make it worse.

Knowing her stomach couldn't manage anything she folded herself up on the couch and turned on the television. Maybe a little mindless tv programming would settle her down.

Halfway into the middle of a three year old episode of NCIS, she heard her phone beep. At first she couldn't remember where she'd left it but remembered throwing her purse into the living room as Fritz carried her to the bedroom earlier. She got up and looked around for the strewn leather bag.

The phone beeped again and the purse and its spilled contents behind the sofa. Turning the small device over she squinted and held it out at arm's length. She had no clue where her glasses were either. But finally she was able to make out the text message.

Isn't that what you wanted?


	9. Chapter 9

Brenda read the message again thinking she'd only imagined that's what the tiny print on her screen said. But she hadn't imagined it at all. It was there in black and white. And from her squatting position her legs gave out from under her and she collapsed to her knees. She hadn't expected to hear from Sharon again…not for awhile at least. But her heart started racing as she scrambled in her purse for her missing glasses. The darkness of the room didn't help her cause but eventually she put her hands on them and quickly pushed them onto her nose and read the message again.

Isn't that what you wanted?

The blonde thought for a moment what Sharon meant by the cryptic question. Of course she could obviously be referring to the kiss and the same sentiment she repeated before leaving her standing breathless and on wobbly legs. Or she could mean when she left with Flynn and Brenda felt like someone had punched her in her gut.

For a split second Brenda thought against replying to the message at all. Sharon had clearly made her decision when she left with Flynn.

Picturing them together at the party…and in her mind after…she hastily typed out a response.

No. I didn't want to see you plastered to Andy if that's what you meant!

Rising from her kneeling position she made her way back to the couch. The last half of NCIS was now a distant thought. She mindlessly worked her mouth in different directions while she stared at the screen. It wasn't long before the reply beeped in startling her. She quickly turned the sound off so not to disturb Fritz. Looking towards the bedroom, she made sure everything was still quiet. The last thing she needed was Fritz waking up and peppering her with a dozen questions or more.

What do you want, Brenda? Sharon wrote. The tone was evident even through a text message. Sharon was frustrated and getting more and more upset.

Honestly, she didn't know what she wanted. No, that wasn't true. She knew exactly what she wanted. But was it possible? And would her want be reciprocated?

She thought for a moment before typing. Once she sent it she couldn't take it back.

I want it like it was in Georgia. Taking a deep breath she hit send and waited. She'd never experienced anything like she had in Georgia. Sharon Raydor made her feel more of herself than anyone ever had. She felt the fire light within her and she needed to feed it and there was only one person who could fulfill her hunger.

It was just sex. Nothing more. The reality of those words almost made her sick.

Was it?

Brenda fell asleep on the couch clutching her phone and waiting for a reply. But one never came. And when she closed her eyes she wasn't in LA anymore…she was back in that little country house with the squeaky bed. And in the darkness the hands of a very attractive brunette caressed every inch of her body.

Sitting up in the middle of her bed, Sharon didn't know what to make of the whole situation with Brenda. Her head was so mixed up she didn't know what was right and what was wrong anymore. How could she answer the last question Brenda asked? Was it just sex? Maybe it wasn't. And maybe it was and if she said it enough she'd convince herself that it was just that.

But in her heart she knew it wasn't just sex. It was much, much more. No one had ever made her lose control like Brenda had in that dirty little bar bathroom. And never had she allowed herself to trust someone with her emotions and her sexuality as she had done with Brenda. She had always been the one in control.

She couldn't afford to make a rash decision in the middle of the night so she decided not to answer Brenda's question. Curling herself under the covers of her bed, the moments of the evening flashed through her mind. She'd almost made a big mistake with Andy Flynn. Before a few weeks ago it would have been less of a mistake but being with him now would only be her using him. And he was better than that. She was better than that.

….

The sun was barely breaking through the curtains when Sharon awoke to a loud, consistent banging on her front door. She leaped out of bed and threw on her blue silk robe. Having not gotten much sleep all night, her eyes were red and swollen. She pulled the door open without looking through the peephole.

"Rusty?" She asked expecting it was the boy already back from his long weekend at Kevin's. He had proven to be quite temperamental and anything could send him home early.

But it wasn't Rusty. Brenda didn't wait to be invited in. She barged in with her oversized purse over her shoulder and two disposable cups of coffee in her hands. Their eyes didn't meet. Sharon turned, confused, watching Brenda navigate her living room. Scowling, she pushed the door closed and bolted the lock.

"What are you doing here?" Sharon asked with her hands on her hips.

Brenda stood in front of the sofa still with the coffee in her hands. She looked over at Sharon who had made her way over from the door to stand across from her. "You didn't answer my question last night. And I want an answer because I don't believe what you said." Brenda sounded odd. Not like herself.

Brenda stretched her arm out and offered one of the coffees to Sharon. Their fingers brushed ever so slightly and their eyes met. It took just a split second for that "something" to pass between them before Sharon looked away. There was no denying it anymore. They both knew it was there.

"Maybe it wasn't just sex. But that's what it has to be." Sharon sighed and sat down in the side chair. "You can't have it both ways, Brenda."

The blonde sat down on the couch with a thud. Her mind went immediately to Fritz. She'd left him asleep at their house. With all the thoughts that were being batted around her head last night she did not want to face him.

She looked up and saw Sharon staring at her and she swallowed. Those green eyes cut her to her core.

"Why not? People do it all the time."

Sharon scowled deeply with her mouth falling open. She couldn't believe Brenda would actually say that. "Are you the same person? The same Brenda Leigh Johnson who is honorable and conscientious?"

Brenda stared at her hands as she rung them together. "Something changed. And I can't ignore it." She looked up and deep into the green eyes across from her. "And I don't think you can either by the redness in your eyes. Or did you just have a late night with Andy and text me in between your romps?"

Sharon rolled her eyes. "Romps? It's none of your business but Andy didn't stay and we didn't…romp." She watched the blonde's reaction to her statement. And deep inside she was delighted when it was evident that it relieved Brenda to know nothing happened between her and Andy last night. Brenda probably wasn't even aware that she gave anything away. But Sharon saw it.

"Fritz and I didn't do anything either. I slept on the couch." Sharon shrugged and opened her mouth to speak but Brenda jumped ahead of her. "And don't say you don't care because I know that you do. You can pretend you don't but you do. Something happened to you in Georgia too, Sharon Raydor."

They sat there staring at each other for a long time. Neither wanted to be the first one to flinch. Brenda watched as Sharon's chest started rising and falling faster and unevenly. She knew she was formulating retaliation.

Sharon couldn't deny Brenda's accusations. Something had changed in her. She didn't want to admit it even to herself. She thought about Brenda Leigh Johnson nonstop. And at night, she ached to feel her touch. At MCD it comforted her knowing that she was in Brenda's old office. It made her feel closer to the blonde. And even then sitting across from her she wanted to reach over and push the errant strand of hair behind her ear or feel the heat between them when she pressed the outside of her leg to Brenda's.

It drove Sharon nuts to have these feelings when she tried so very hard to discourage them.

"I told you I won't facilitate you being a cheater. Not again. I already screwed up once." They didn't break their eye contact. She wanted to make those words true but it was so difficult.

Brenda hung her head and in a weak voice that Sharon had never heard come from her, she said, "I need you."

The sharp gasp caught in Sharon's throat. Those three words cut her to her core because Brenda had never sounded so needy and vulnerable. She wanted to go to her. Comfort her. But she knew if she went that far she wouldn't be able to keep from touching her and if she touched her whatelse would she be capable of?

But not listening to her own reasoning, Sharon got up and sat beside Brenda on the couch. Their thighs and arms pressed together.

With trembling fingers Sharon lifted Brenda's chin until they were looking at each other again. "You make me break every rule I've set for myself." She whispered. "Damn you!" She leaned closer until their lips were touching. "Damn you" Sharon repeated against Brenda's mouth.

Sharon felt Brenda's arm circle around her back and grasp her waist. Just feeling Brenda's hands on her caused her heart to race even faster. Brenda brought her other hand to rest on Sharon's thigh. She could feel the brunette tremble beneath her touch.

She hadn't come to Sharon's for this. Honestly. She'd come to get answers and discuss the situation like adults. But from the moment the door opened and Sharon was standing there in her robe, every detail of her plan was forgotten.

Just about to break the kiss, Sharon felt Brenda soften against her mouth and open ever so slightly. The moan eased up her throat before she could stop it. But she didn't care. The kiss deepened as their tongues slowly massaged each other. As fast and hard as the kiss was the night before, this one was just the opposite.

It was re-learning, feeling, tasting…loving.

From somewhere in the kitchen, Sharon's cell phone rang. It took a few rings before the shrill pulled their attentions from each other. They broke apart both sucking in air.

As she got up to answer her phone, Sharon watched Brenda slowly drag her tongue across her wet lips. The feeling she'd had in the pit of her stomach sunk to a deep throb between her thighs. She was thisclose to forgetting everything she'd ever promised herself and Brenda.

"Hello?" She cleared her throat. From the kitchen she stared at the blonde still sitting on her sofa. "Okay. I'll meet you there. Text me the address."

Brenda stood up and turned. "You caught a case?"

Sharon slowly nodded. The heat still burned in her eyes. Her neck and chest still flushed red with desire.

She needed to get dressed and head to the crime scene but she stood still watching Brenda sashay up to her. Thinking Brenda was going to kiss her, Sharon took a breath and closed her eyes. But when she felt the pad of Brenda's finger over her parted lips, her eyes flew open. The knowing smirk appeared quickly on Brenda's lips as she raked her finger across Sharon's lips, over her chin, down her neck and chest and between her cleavage.

Sharon tried to swallow the bubble that enlarged in her throat.

"I'll come back tonight." Brenda whispered then turned and walked out of the condo without a further glance.

Sharon blew out the breath she had been holding and bent over at the waist.

Of all people why did she let this one get under skin…and into her soul?


	10. Chapter 10

Brenda stared at the naked back of her sleeping husband. His even, deep breathing indicated he was still sound asleep. She had replayed over and over in her mind what she would say to him. How he would take it. How she would take it. It wasn't an easy situation from any angle. She realized she was at a time in her life when she wanted something different. Call it a mid-life crisis or whatever.

But what crossed her mind most – was she making the right decision? She'd made hasty choices before and not always with the best results. But this one affected more than just her now. There was an ache in the pit of her stomach. An ache for something she was losing and a yearning for something new.

Eventually Fritz stirred awake and turned over facing her. His face lit up when he saw her standing in the doorway. He patted the empty space in the bed in front of him for her to join him. When she licked her lips and looked away he wrinkled his brow.

"Brenda?" He asked with a raspy, sleep-laden voice.

"Fritzy, we need to talk."

He rubbed his eyes with his fingertips and sat up against the headboard of the bed.

The blonde paced over to the dressing table and fiddled with a necklace handing on a small metal dress-form. She saw in the reflection of the mirror that he crossed his arms over his chest waiting for her to start talking.

"This isn't working anymore." Her voice was barely audible.

"What?"

She cleared her throat and said again louder. "This isn't working anymore…Fritz."

"What isn't working? You being retired? You have a good opportunity with the DA's office. Or the trial? It hasn't even started yet but I'm sure it'll go fine. Or living here? We can move but you know I can't move to Atlanta. Not yet." These were all the issues they had talked about before. Or at least issues she'd had that he picked up on. For awhile now she'd been picking on every little thing he did or said. He brushed it off as the trauma of her mama dying, Stroh and her subsequent retirement.

She closed her eyes and turned towards the bed. Like ripping off a band-aid she told herself. "Us, Fritz. We're not working anymore." Her fingers combed through her thick mane. Staring at the floor she waited for him to say something. When he didn't she finally looked up and into his sorrowful and confused eyes.

Fritz Howard scrubbed his hands over his day old scruffy face. He'd heard her say what he felt was happening for awhile but thought it was just him, the stress, the job, her. But she was obviously feeling it too. He thought after she had returned from Georgia that things would get better. They could focus on their life together again. But she returned a different person. Something had changed in Brenda Leigh when she was in Georgia. He didn't know what.

"Do you love me, Brenda?"

Her mouth gaped open. "Of course I love you, Fritz." But her voice trailed off.

"But you aren't in love with me anymore." It was a statement, not a question. He could read her like a book. For the first time she looked deep into his eyes. Even though he knew it was happening for some time, it still felt like someone shot him in the chest.

They stared into each other's eyes for a long time. Both holding onto something that hadn't been there for awhile and deep down were both afraid it was gone forever. Fritz and Brenda had a history that surpassed seemingly insurmountable obstacles.

"I'm sorry." She finally whispered.

He laughed. "No you're not. You do what you want when you want, Brenda." Fritz got out of the bed and walked past her without a second glance. "Let me know when you've figured out what you're going to do."

She flinched as the bathroom door slammed behind her. Exhaling a deep breath she wiped a single tear from her cheek and walked out of their bedroom. It stung just like a band-aid.

….

Sharon Raydor sat on the end of her bed with her cell phone pressed to her ear. As much as she had tried to busy herself, she hadn't gotten anything accomplished since Brenda left earlier that morning. Her mind was reeling from that quick visit. Brenda had said she would be back that evening but she hadn't heard from her since.

"Don't worry, Rusty. I think I can manage to make myself a sandwich without you." She smiled into the phone. She never imagined herself as a mother at this stage of her life but here she was and it felt good. She got another chance to correct the mistakes she'd made as a young mother. She finished her conversation with Rusty assuring him it was okay to stay at Lt. Tao's another night.

Looking at the time on her phone for the fourth time within ten minutes, she anticipated Brenda's arrival like a teenager on prom night. Sharon hadn't had a relationship that wasn't just about the sex in a long time. Would Brenda want more? Of course she would. But would Sharon be able to give her what she wanted? Everything was happening at lightning speed. So much could go wrong so quickly. But so much was worth the risk. No one had ever made her body more aware like Brenda did. Just thinking about her turned her on immediately.

Stripping off her jeans and UCLA t-shirt, Sharon stepped into a hot, steamy shower. Without notice, her body suddenly became aware of the warm water and soft, creamy soap covering her sensitive skin. Her shaky hands dropped the natural loofa onto the shower floor. Not bothering to pick it up, she let her hands continue spreading the soap over her body. Her breath hitched in her throat as her hands slid over her peaked nipples. Her breasts weighed heavy in her hands as she rubbed circles with her thumbs.

But quickly she rinsed away the suds and shut the shower water off. It was hard to block out what her body was doing. But she couldn't let that cloud her judgment or feelings. Not tonight.

She towel dried her hair and pulled it into a messy bun. It was almost 10pm already and she'd yet to hear from Brenda Leigh. Maybe she'd changed her mind. A glance of disappointment passed through her body with the thought.

Brenda paced up and down the hallway outside of Sharon's condo for over 20 minutes. Swallowing decades of hidden frustration Brenda pressed the doorbell button. She didn't realize she was holding her breath until the door swung open and with bare feet and a messy bun Sharon Raydor stood in front of her in a red silk kimono and finally she exhaled a long even breath.

She couldn't talk. She was too nervous. So she held up the take-out bag in front of her. Certainly the food would be barely tepid due to her earlier hesitation.

Sharon smirked and held the door open wider so she and her food could come inside. She closed the door slowly and listened to Brenda's heels clack into the kitchen. Her body was still on edge after her shower and seeing Brenda standing at her front door only made it worse.

In the kitchen, Brenda opened several cabinets looking for plates.

"You don't have any paper plates?" The blonde asked.

Sharon smiled. "No. You can use the dishes in that cabinet." She pointed to one of the many white cabinets on the far wall. By the way Brenda flitted about the kitchen; Sharon could tell that she too was nervous. And knowing that made her smile a little wider but dipped her head so Brenda didn't see.

Brenda served a heaping helping of pasta Bolognese for both of them while Sharon filled two wine glasses with the best Merlot she had. They still hadn't said much as they sat down at the kitchen table. Both knew what was on the other's mind and both knew what tonight was about.

They ate the first few bites in silence until Brenda wiped her mouth with the white linen napkin and said, "Is this awkward?" She waved her hand over the table of food.

Sharon chuckled, "You could say that." She thought for a moment before continuing. "But…when hasn't anything between us been awkward?" She watched Brenda purse her lips in thought.

Neither said anything else until after they'd finished eating and sharing a bottle of wine. But then Sharon picked up their empty plates and carried them to the sink. After the dinner she wasn't sure what to expect out of Brenda or the whole situation. Sharon wasn't used to jumping into any kind of relationship and honestly wasn't sure Brenda wanted one.

She ran the hot water in the sink and rinsed the left over pasta sauce from the white plates. With the water flowing she didn't hear Brenda get up from the table. Of course if Brenda hadn't kicked her heels off she would have heard the clack against the floor.

But it wasn't until she felt a soft hand rest on the curve of her right hip that she was aware of her presence behind her. The slight touch startled her so that the dish clattered into the bottom of the sink. Her hands gripped the edges of the cold stainless steel sink as Brenda laid her other hand on Sharon's left hip.

Sharon hung her head as she felt the warmth encompass her body. And just like that her body only needed one thing…sex. Sex with Brenda Leigh Johnson.

The blonde behind her moved closer pressing her body against Sharon's back. They could both feel the heat emanating from each other's bodies. Sharon didn't…couldn't move a muscle as Brenda's hands slide down her legs and under the hem of her kimono. Her breath caught in her throat when wet, firm lips pressed to the back of her neck. Brenda splayed her hands flat against the front of Sharon's thighs. She thought for a moment she felt the brunette quiver.

But in the blink of an eye, Brenda pulled away. The void shocked Sharon back to reality. With a few rapid blinks she composed herself and turned to see Brenda walk into the living room. The throbbing need in her body settled into a dull ache in her stomach. Understandably something was bothering Brenda and even sex couldn't take her mind off of what consumed her.

As much as it pained her, Sharon pulled a sheet, blanket and extra pillow out of the linen closet to make up the couch for Brenda. Neither wanted to force the other into something they weren't ready for. And sleeping...even just sleeping in the same bed would be too much.

Together they made up the couch in silence. There was an awkwardness there that the physical desire couldn't heal.

Sharon started turning out the lights as Brenda climbed into her makeshift bed.

"Captain." She called out to Sharon who stopped down the hallway in front of her bedroom door. "Sharon." She corrected herself with a shake of her head.

Sharon turned back. The light from the small lamp beside the couch illuminated Brenda's beautiful face. Sharon could see the tension and stress pulled tight across her features. It almost broke her heart to see her friend in such turmoil.

"I didn't come back just for the sex." Brenda admitted sheepishly.

Sharon smirked and licked her lips. "Too bad." With a lift of her left eyebrow she entered her bedroom closing the door behind her.

Pulling off the kimono she got into the cool bed naked. Her body was burning up with want and the crisp, chilled sheets felt good on her smooth skin. Sharon didn't think she'd get any sleep with her body wound so tight but at some point she must have fallen asleep because she didn't hear the bedroom door ease open.

It was only the bed shifting under the weight of the person climbing into the other side that finally woke her. Sharon turned over to face the shadow in the dark. She could only make out her silhouette in the darkness but her hand gently cupped the side of Brenda's face. And immediately she could tell from the damp skin that she had been crying.

Brenda didn't say a word but placed a kiss on the inside of Sharon's palm. It wasn't something she was accustomed to needing but she needed the closeness and comforting. She still couldn't bring herself to ask for it out loud.

Turning over, Brenda pressed her back into Sharon's body and pulled Sharon's arm over her waist. Her body relaxed almost instantly. Sharon knew right away what was going on. She burrowed down into the bed and pulled Brenda tight to her body. It wasn't sexual. It wasn't sex. It was something she hadn't had in a very long time. And it scared her how much she missed it.

"Everything will be okay." Sharon whispered.


	11. Chapter 11

Sharon woke up only once during the night. She hadn't realized how much she missed the comfort and safety of having someone in bed next to her until then. And maybe it was more about who this "someone" was rather than just come random person.

Everything in her brain told her to not get into a relationship. Sharon Raydor was not good at relationships. They always, usually by her own accord, ended in disaster. One night stands she could do just fine. Sex without strings she could do just fine. Relationships were too much pressure and too much commitment.

But the sigh that escaped her only asserted the contentment she felt at that moment. With her arm still draped across Brenda's torso, Sharon edged slightly closer and held her a bit tighter. She felt Brenda physically relax further in her sleep.

It took her only a few minutes to drift off back to sleep and neither awoke again that night.

Rusty entered the condo and right away knew something was off. Sharon wasn't expecting him until that evening but after getting into an argument with Kevin he decided to return home early that morning. He tossed his backpack onto the foyer floor and scanned the rest of the room with curious eyes. The couch made up with bed linens caught his attention. Furrowing his brow, Rusty looked for any sign of Sharon but didn't see any. He called out her name once and waited for a response he didn't receive.

His heart started to race not knowing why things seemed to be so out of order. Sharon never left things out of place or untidy. His mind went to every worst case scenario because first and foremost he was a worrier. And if anything happened to Sharon he didn't know what he would do.

She'd become more than just a care giver or guardian. It took only a moment in time for him to trust no one. But learning to trust anyone was something he didn't think he'd ever do again. Until her. Slowly she'd grown on him and showed him that she wasn't there to control him. Sharon let him be his own person with boundaries that at first he balked but soon realized she was only doing it for his best interests. He respected her for that. Sharon Raydor was the only person in his life who had not turned their backs on him despite how much he fought her.

He approached her closed door trying to hear any movement from the other side. He called out her name again and again no answer. Slowly turning the door knob he pushed the door open and what he saw before him was more confusing than the unkept living room.

"Oh my god! Sharon?" His voice cracked as he backed out of the doorway. He saw her startle at her name or maybe it was his voice or that she'd been seen.

Sharon sat up straight in her bed but the blonde beside her didn't move except to blink her eyes open. Thankfully both women's bodies were fully covered by the blankets.

But Rusty didn't wait for an explanation. He shut the door and hurried into his own room across the hall. His mind was reeling. It didn't bother him that Sharon was in bed with another woman. He'd been on the streets long enough that nothing out of the ordinary shocked him anymore. But what unnerved him was that this was a side of Sharon he didn't know about. He thought they had been open with each other but he was wrong.

Sharon buried her head in her hands before jumping out of bed. She didn't care that she was naked. She wasn't even aware.

"He'll be okay, Sharon." Brenda said from the bed. "Give him time to let it sink in."

Sharon shook her head as she pulled on the fluffy terry cloth robe that was hanging behind the door. "No, he's fragile and I can't treat him like a child." She didn't look back before exiting her room.

She lightly knocked on his door as a courtesy before opening it. Immediately tears stung her eyes when she saw Rusty bent over on his bed with his head buried in the pillow.

"Rusty." He didn't look up. "I'm sorry."

He flinched slightly when she laid her hand on his back. Then it was her turn to flinch when he looked up and his eyes were wet with tears. The look on his face was a combination of anger and sadness.

"I'm sorry." She repeated.

"Sorry for what? For hiding something? For being with Brenda? That is Brenda right?" He hadn't gotten a good look at her bed companion before he high-tailed it out of there but was pretty sure it was her.

"Yes, it's Brenda. And I'm sorry for not telling you what's going on."

"Why would you? I'm just a kid remember." The tears flowed down his cheeks again before he could turn away from her so she didn't see.

Sharon sighed and stared at him until he finally met her gaze. His words stung. "You're not just a kid. Not to me. We've been through a lot together, me and you. I don't think of you as 'just some kid'. I respect you. I want to protect you. I want to teach you. I've learned so much from you, Rusty." She'd never been good about speaking her feelings and especially not directly but she was more afraid of losing the progress they'd made. "I care about you."

Everything she said to him was the truth. It wasn't a ploy to get him to not run away again. She needed him in her life as much as he needed her.

It took a long, quiet time before he finally let all that she said to him sink in.

"Really?" He asked sheepishly. He, like her, wasn't very comfortable expressing emotions or accepting praise.

A fully sincere smile spread across her face. "Yes, really." She waited for him to say something but he didn't. "Do you have anything to ask me or want to tell me? You don't have to be afraid or hold anything back."

Rusty scratched the top of his head. His unruly hair obviously hadn't been brushed yet. "So…Brenda?" The corners of his mouth ticked up in a smile.

Her laugh started deep in her gut. "I don't know how it happened or when or why. This is very new for me and for her. But if you don't agree with it or are uncomfortable with her here then we can figure something out." She patted his leg. "This is your home too."

"No, it's cool. I mean, she's cool." He paused for a moment. "She saved my life, Sharon."

"She cares about you, Rusty. It was her who put you in my care. She trusted me…" It wasn't until that moment that Sharon realized how much Brenda thought of her before their meeting in Georgia.

After talking for a bit longer, Rusty decided to go to bed. Apparently playing video games all night leaves a kid tired.

Sharon went back to her room and found Brenda had fallen back asleep where she'd left her. She stood against the closed door for awhile just looking at the blonde looking so peaceful under the sunlight that streamed through the sheer curtains. By looking at her now, there was no indication of the turmoil that caused her to crawl into Sharon's bed in the middle of the night.

Finally Sharon hung the robe she was wearing back on the hook on the top of the door and silently slid into her bed again. Brenda didn't move or indicate that she woke up when Sharon's body pulled up tight against hers.

It was only when Sharon's hand slowly traveled up Brenda's bare leg that the blonde awoke with an audible gasp. The gasp quickly turned to a low, guttural moan. Brenda turned over facing Sharon in the bed.

"Is he okay?" Brenda asked about Rusty but her eyes locked onto Sharon's mouth.

Sharon knew what her bed partner was doing and what she was feeling because she was feeling it herself. She nodded her head slowly to answer the question. Raising her hand, Sharon ran the very tip of her fingers down Brenda's long neck.

Just as Brenda moved to embrace Sharon, Sharon pressed her open palm on Brenda's chest keeping her from closing the short distance. Brenda narrowed her eyes but didn't push the issue. She knew there were boundaries. Sharon's boundaries.

"Last night?" Sharon whispered her question.

Brenda bit her bottom lip. She knew there was no way around it but had hoped to distract her lover from asking. Dragging her hand up Sharon's naked body, she didn't break their eye contact. Sharon held her own and her eyes only fluttered once when Brenda traced the inside of Sharon's warm thigh.

"I know what you're doing, Brenda." Sharon smirked. It was hard enough asking the question and it was getting harder to repel the distraction. She wanted nothing more than to flip Brenda over onto her back and crush their lips together in a hot, wet, demanding kiss.

Brenda abruptly removed her hand from Sharon's body. And the brunette immediately missed the electric contact. She'd never been with anyone else who had made her body respond like Brenda did.

"I'm starting a new life and I don't know what I'm doing." Brenda confessed, her voice a little shaky. "Who am I? I'm homeless, soon to be divorcee, starting a new career…haunted…haunted by a man who tried to kill me numerous times."

Sharon waited for her to add 'and in love with you' but she didn't. Was she in love? Were either of them? It wasn't a relationship right? She quickly pushed those thoughts away.

"Who aren't you? You're Brenda Leigh Johnson. You're the same person you always were."

Brenda opened her mouth to protest but Sharon quickly closed the gap and pressed her lips to the blonde's. The kiss was soft and inviting but soon it turned passionate. And while hands caressed and breaths came faster, they both broke off the ministrations before things got too far. Both remembered Rusty in the other room.

A few weeks went by and day after day their lives became intertwined into one harmonious song. Out of respect for Rusty, Brenda continued to sleep on the couch when he was there even though he insisted that he was grown enough to handle them sleeping in the same bed. Though both women knew if they made that step to sleeping…just sleeping in the same bed then whatever they were doing would so be labeled. And neither was ready to accept that yet. There was still a line, a very thin line, which had not been crossed so far.

Of course many nights Sharon fell asleep next to Brenda on the couch after a night of wine and movies or just talking. It struck them both how odd it was that they so enjoyed learning about the other's life when there was a time they couldn't stand to be in the same room.

Dinners were made by three people coordinating their own little parts. And every once in awhile Sharon and Brenda were able to sneak in a bit of what brought them together in the first place.

But in just a few days their lives had turned as fast as a bullet train. Most evenings were spent being very domestic. But more and more Sharon was away late on a case or finishing paperwork. Brenda's job at the DA's office was a bit more regimented and structured but spending any time together was proving to be fewer and farther between. Stroh's case had been thrown out of court on a technicality so that burden had been lifted. But Sharon could still feel her pulling away little by little. But it wasn't her place to pull her back. It wasn't a relationship.

Brenda was glad that that ordeal was behind her but not glad that it didn't happen. It was Stroh's lawsuit that ultimately brought Sharon into the bar in Pheasant Hill that night to wrestle her into returning to LA for the trial. She'd always rolled her eyes at the people who said life could change in a split second. But it was true.

Leaving at the same time that morning, they exchanged a quick kiss in the rain before getting into their respective cars and going about their business.

Brenda sat back in her leather office chair looking out across the empty desks before her. The DA's office was truly a government run entity. Almost no one came in before 9am. Slowly her eyes fluttered closed, she had a good hour before anyone would arrive, and the memories from that night at the Tail Feather bar came flooding back. She'd expected a high browed Sharon Raydor to read her the riot act when she saw her standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. But instead she got a smoldering, sexy Sharon Raydor who lit her world on fire.

Her mind played that night like a movie. And her body reacted in kind. Fortunately no one else was around to see her mouth slightly ajar or hear her labored breathing. She could almost feel the heat that resonated off of Sharon's body that night and how every inch of Sharon's skin felt under her touches.

Sometimes during her long major crimes days, Brenda wondered what would break that ice that Sharon had molded around herself and that night at the Tail Feather she found out. She'd pushed the boundaries and when she wasn't stopped it made her advances even more determined. They'd made love and had sex many times since that night but that's the night she learned what Sharon Raydor's touch felt like and how soft her skin was and how her heartbeat pounded at the base of her neck and how the curve of her hip was ticklish and…how she tasted. She'd never forget her taste. The taste of her lips, her skin, her…

The vibration of the moan in her throat brought her back to reality. Opening her eyes again she was thankful that the room was still empty. Her hands fanned her flushed face but it was no use. No matter what she did, Sharon caused her blood to boil…but in a good way now.

The buzzing of her cellphone again broke her thoughts. Fumbling through her black purse she cursed the illusive phone. Finally locating it she answered right away and was surprised by the voice on the other end. She hadn't heard his voice in a long time. But the smile that appeared on her face quickly faded as she listened.

Without a word, Brenda fell to her knees almost in slow motion. Her just flushed face was now a ghostly white. The phone slid from her hand and dropped to the floor with a thud.

…


	12. Chapter 12

Sharon walked into the condo that evening and immediately kicked off her pumps. It had been a hectic, tiring day. And for the last hour all she could think about was getting home, taking off her shoes, having a glass of wine and enjoying a nice dinner with Brenda and Rusty. She hadn't talked to Brenda since that morning before they both headed in to work. Both going their separate ways but not before Brenda planted a quick but toe-curling kiss on the brunette.

"I'm home." She announced herself.

"Dinner is served!" Rusty stated with flourish from the kitchen when he saw her walk around the corner.

"Mmmm. It smells delicious." Rusty had become quite the cook lately. And he seemed to finally enjoy creating something on his own. Brenda and Sharon encouraged him to embrace what he loved to do. And at the moment that seemed to be cooking. "Where's Brenda?" Sharon asked as she poured a glass of Merlot. Since Brenda moved in the deep, rich Merlot replaced her sweet whites. The heft of the red tannins were starting to grow on her.

Rusty shrugged while dishing the pasta into the bowls. "Don't know. Haven't heard from her."

Sharon wrinkled her brow and pursed her lips in thought. She'd checked her cellphone a few times during the day but nothing from the blonde. Pulling it out of her pocket she wasn't surprised to not see any missed calls or messages.

She dialed Brenda's number but was automatically sent to her voice mail. "Brenda, it's 6:30. We're waiting for you. Rusty made a great dinner again. See you soon?"

Sharon saw the worried look on Rusty's face. She'd hoped his therapist would help with his constant worrying but given his other issues, many of which she wasn't privy to, she figured worrying wasn't that bad. But it caused her such concern when he let things get under his skin. Things that he couldn't control.

"Let's not wait. This dinner looks divine and I don't want it to get cold." She sent him a reassuring smile. "I'm sure Brenda's just working on a case or helping DDA Hobbs." Sharon tried reassuring him with a smile but on the inside she was quite worried herself.

They ate their dinners and discussed their days just like they did every evening. But in the back of her mind, Sharon couldn't stop thinking about Brenda and why she hadn't called. She couldn't say it wasn't like her because it was. Brenda let her work surpass everything when it got heavy.

By 10pm that night the worry was full blown. She'd called and texted Brenda dozens of times. And Sharon was angry. Angry that she was left waiting without knowing anything and angry that she was letting it anger her.

Rusty came out of his room and sat beside her on the couch. The boy knew it was bothering her even if she hadn't said anything. "Have you heard from her?" He asked softly. She just shook her head in response.

But then it dawned on her that maybe this was Brenda's way of ending things with her. They'd never declared themselves anything other than lovers and Brenda certainly didn't push for anything more. Perhaps in reality, Sharon thought, Brenda was using her. Using her as a solid structure to hold herself upright when things had gotten so bad for her. The nightmares she was having didn't help and could have just finally toppled her over the edge.

Brenda's past flashed through her mind. She'd pushed Will to the side when she'd gotten what she wanted. When she was tired of Fritz she brushed him off like he was a merely a crumb left on her shirt from lunch. And now…was she doing the same to her? The thought made Sharon sick to her stomach. She didn't take kindly to being used and tossed aside. Sure she may have had one night stands but it was mutual and this was not one of those.

Lying in bed that night, she made one last phone call to the woman who had turned every belief and rule she had upside down. And from any other person this would have scared her to death but from Brenda it made her feel wanted and needed and…loved.

"Brenda, this is the last message I send to you until I hear from you. I don't know what's going on. I hope you're okay." She paused and sighed. "Please…just let me know you're okay. I'm too damn old to play these games." She hung up the call hoping that would get thru to Brenda. If it didn't she didn't know whatelse to do. If Brenda needed time to herself she understood that but not walking away without a word.

Sharon had a fitful night's sleep that night. She was torn internally. One part of her was pulling her in one direction and another part was pulling her the other way. But she couldn't hold on to something that wasn't there.

It had been a week since Brenda got the call. The call that took her breath away. When she heard her brother's voice on the other end of the phone there was an initial excitement. Their bond was strong after her mother's passing but their separation and work made it hard to keep in touch. So for a split second she felt elated.

But then he said the words she'd dreaded to hear. She'd thought about it before but quickly pushed those thoughts out of her head. It couldn't happen again. But it had. And it shattered her.

Her beloved father had passed away. Once she composed herself she instinctively raced, without further thought, to the airport and flew to Atlanta to be with her family and say goodbye to the man who held her hand as a little girl so she didn't fall and then taught her how to be the strongest woman she could be.

Both of her parents were gone, her marriage was over, her family was strewn all over the country. She was alone. She was an orphan. She was a middle-aged orphan.

As she sat there tracing the rim of her glass with the tip of her finger, her thoughts fell onto the one subject she couldn't shake. The one that scared her the most. The one that she probably completely screwed up. The only thing that gave her comfort.

She'd listened and read Sharon's messages over and over but couldn't bring herself to contact her. In her heart and her brain, she knew that was the worst thing she could do. Maybe they both needed their distance. Brenda had practically squatted in the middle of Sharon's life. She couldn't expect the captain to just upend her existence for her. But truthfully, Brenda had missed her terribly the last week.

And when she needed someone to comfort her, she only thought of Sharon. Sitting alone on the church pew with tears streaming down her cheeks, with her father forever lying in a wooden box, Brenda needed only one thing. She only needed Sharon Raydor to be sitting beside her holding her hand or just simply being next to her. Just the comfort of Sharon's arm against hers would be enough. It would be perfect actually.

But she wasn't there. And Brenda Leigh was all alone in her grief. But that's usually how she dealt with emotions anyway. She didn't want or need anyone else around. But this time it was different.

Brenda's let go of the memory of that day in the church and was brought back to the present. Picking up the small glass she licked her lips before placing it against her bottom lip and poured the clear liquid into her mouth. The potent tequila burned going down her throat but she didn't care. She welcomed it.

Dwayne, the best and only bartender at the Tail Feather bar, set another full shot along with a napkin full of lime wedges in front of her. She'd already commandeered the salt shaker after the first shot. She looked up to thank him and noticed something different in front of her.

Her eyes slowly focused on the mirror behind the bar and the figment of her imagination that appeared in it. All her efforts couldn't blink the illusion away.

Ever so slowly Brenda spun around in the barstool. 180 degrees later she realized the image in the mirror wasn't an oasis. A lump quickly formed in her throat but she couldn't swallow it away. As much as she wanted to get up and run she knew her legs would be too weak to carry her. Weak from the alcohol she'd consumed and unsteadied by the over beating of her heart.

Sharon Raydor walked back into the one place she never thought she'd see again. It was the place that haunted her dreams. The place she let her guard down. She stood just inside the front doors for a long time just watching the blonde who had her back to her.

Even from that distance Sharon could see the turmoil rolling through Brenda. Her shoulders were tight with tension. She couldn't blame her for trying to mask the pain with booze. Sharon knew that trick all too well.

Finally, the blonde turned around. Sharon could see Brenda was trying to figure out if she was really standing before her or not. So she closed the distance and walked up to Brenda. Neither said a word. They just stood there staring at each other for a long time. A lot passed between them during their unspoken exchange.

Brenda watched Sharon standing at the door with her hands on her hips. She didn't look angry or hurt. She looked like Captain Sharon Raydor. And when she approached, Brenda couldn't formulate the words…any words.

The brunette licked her lips quickly and pulled her glasses from her face. "We need to have a long talk." With a raised eyebrow, Sharon meant business. Traveling to Georgia, she practiced what she would say when she saw her but walking into that bar all logic left her. They did need to talk, she knew that. But she wasn't sure where it would begin or end.

It had only been a week but the absence was like a lifetime.

Brenda finally found her voice. "How…how did you find me?"

The brunette smiled for the first time in a week and Brenda's heart melted at its sight. "Well after I determined that you weren't dead, breaking the law to do so I might add, I just went on my gut feeling after..." Sharon stopped talking long enough to sit down on the stool next to Brenda. The same stool she'd sat in next to her the last time they met there. "I'm sorry about your father, Brenda." She laid her hand lightly on Brenda's forearm.

The touch sent pangs of comfort straight to Brenda's heart. She hung her head low to her chest. Blonde waves cascading around her face. She thought the tears had dried up but in a flash they reappeared and ran freely down her cheeks.

"Fritz told the team. Provenza let me know." Sharon removed her hand to push Brenda's hair behind her ear. It truly broke her heart to see the deep sadness that plagued her friend. "I would've liked to have been here for you but…I didn't know if you wanted me."

Brenda turned then to face her. Her voice barely above a whisper, "I wanted you…I needed you but…" She stopped and cleared her throat. It was true. She'd picked up her phone to contact Sharon so many times that week she'd lost count. Being needy wasn't something she was accustomed to nor was it something she wanted to be.

"But what?"

"We said this wasn't a relationship."

Sharon stopped her immediately. "Brenda, we have a friendship. Two people who can and will be there for each other when they need them. I am your friend and when you needed a friend most I would have been here. Right here."

The tears continued to burn down Brenda's face. Neither woman knew the importance of having a good friend and this was very unfamiliar for them.

Brenda turned back and downed the shot of tequila that had been sitting in front of her since before Sharon caught her attention at the front door. "But we're more than friends aren't we?" She asked without looking at Sharon.

Sharon didn't answer right away. She raised her arm to alert the bartender to bring two more shots. Theirs was a complicated situation. They'd become unlikely friends out of formidable circumstances. And then there was the sex. The sex that Sharon tried to convince herself was just sex. Even after Brenda had moved into her condo, Sharon tried to keep it as just sex. Once they were done they didn't linger or wrap themselves in post-coital bliss. But more and more she ached to feel Brenda's arms around her during the night.

The night Brenda came into her bedroom and needed to be held was to some degree better than the sex.

Dwayne set the full shots in front of them and walked away.

"We're friends." Sharon answered but didn't. She sprinkled the salt onto the top of her hand and quickly licked the grains off. The liquid went down her throat smoother than she had hoped. She actually didn't need the lime to follow but jammed the tart fruit between her teeth and sucked the juice out anyway. She turned to see Brenda staring at her with fire in her eyes.

But Brenda pushed her own full shot glass away from her and ordered a water. She wasn't completely drunk but she knew she had to sober up before going back to her cottage.

The two women talked for a long time after that but neither discussing their relationship status again. Brenda was mostly concerned with Rusty and how he was handling things. She'd grown quite fond of the boy when she was protecting him from Phillip Stroh but after really getting to know who he was she found that she had more respect and admiration for him than ever.

Sharon asked if Brenda wanted to talk about her parents but she didn't. She'd done enough crying and crying wouldn't bring them back now. Eventually she would open up about them but she wasn't ready yet.

If anyone walked into the Tail Feather then and saw the two women sitting at the bar talking like two old friends, they would think nothing of it. No one could see what was happening between them.

"Last call, ladies. Can I get you anything else?" Dwayne asked with a tired smile.

Sharon glanced at her watch. "It's almost 2 already? I didn't know we'd been talking that long." The conversation had flowed so freely. It was probably the first time either of them had just talked to another person for so long without any end motive.

Brenda had completely sobered up by then and Sharon hadn't had anything else after that one shot of tequila.

They were both perfectly fine to drive the short distance back to Brenda's house and within a few minutes they walked into the house that felt so familiar and welcoming. The wood floor creaked under their weight as they walked down the hall to the bedrooms. Sharon remembered the layout from the last time she was there.

It was late and both needed their rest. They hadn't talked about returning to LA so Sharon wasn't sure if Brenda was ready to go back yet or not. She was willing to stay as long as Brenda needed her. She'd made arrangements for Rusty to stay with Tao and she told Pope she needed time off and if he wanted to fire her then so be it. Of course she knew he wouldn't. He was playing the political game now and couldn't risk losing a top ranking female officer…again.

Sharon took a quick shower and climbed into her bed. Thru the thin walls she heard Brenda sobbing during her own shower. Just as she was about to get up to go to her the water shut off and the crying stopped. She knew Brenda was and would be grieving for some time.

Just as she turned over to go to sleep, Sharon heard her door squeak open. The darkness of the room blackened everything. Only the light from the hall outlined Brenda's form standing in the doorway.

"I want more." Brenda announced shakily as she walked slowly to the side of the bed. "I want to be more than friends." She sat down on the edge of the bed with her back to Sharon who still hadn't moved. The light from the hall barely reached the bed and she couldn't see the brunette's face but she knew she wasn't asleep yet.

Sharon didn't know what to say. She thought she should be scared of what Brenda said but surprisingly she wasn't. She sat up enough so that she was directly behind Brenda's back. The blonde still hadn't turned from where she had sat down on the edge of the bed.

Sharon knew Brenda was waiting for her to say something but she didn't know what to say. Sharon ran the tips of her fingers down the middle of Brenda's back. The touch alone caused Brenda to sit up straighter. Goosebumps broke out all over her body. Still she was glued to the edge of the bed and couldn't see Sharon inching closer until she felt her warm lips press so gently against the back of her neck.

It was only then that Brenda was able to will herself to shift and turn around on the bed. They were only inches apart and could barely see but they glared into each other's eyes for several minutes until Brenda cupped the side of Sharon's face in her hand.

"I want more." She whispered again before pressing her lips to Sharon's. It made her smile when she heard the hum in Sharon's throat.

Their lips parted as their foreheads met; neither sure who broke the kiss first. Sharon rubbed her hands up and down Brenda's arms not because it was cold but because she wanted the contact. Any other time she would have ripped the tank top Brenda was wearing right off and devour her in a hungry, hastened round of sweaty sex. But not this time.

Sharon gently eased Brenda down beside her in the bed. Both on their sides facing each other, they let their fingers and hands do what their eyes couldn't. They'd touched every inch of the other's bodies before but tonight it was different. Tonight it was about learning, caressing…but mostly about loving.

It took a good hour or more before they were both completely naked but the touching hadn't stopped. It was like they couldn't get enough of the feel of each other. Some reason tonight they both felt a change. More alive. More real.

Brenda fell onto her back as Sharon placed soft, hot kissed all over her sinewy neck. It almost made her chuckle to think of Captain Sharon Raydor being so tender and painstakingly attentive. But the gliding of Sharon's hand across her ribs and down her belly pushed the chuckle away. Brenda's body was burning up from the inside out. She'd never experienced a marathon foreplay session before.

Sharon's lips didn't stop what they were doing to Brenda's neck as she moved her hand further down Brenda's body. She knew what Brenda liked. Her whole hand cupping her. Her fingers gliding thru her silky arousal. Circling her bundle of nerves until she threw her head back in ecstasy. Becoming one.

They made love to each other for hours. Completely sated and exhausted Sharon cradled Brenda in her arms as the morning sun was just beginning to pop thru the windows. The connection they made during those hours transformed everything.

Sharon pushed Brenda's sweat dampened hair away from her forehead. "I want more too." She whispered.

Sharon felt the peace take over Brenda's body as they both faded off to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. I need to end this because there's no where else for me to take it...and...after I lost my flash drive for a week and was in a deep depression (don't ask), I lost interest. But then I found the drive and my faith in life was restored. But...I still need to end this. So...here it goes and thanks, as always, for sticking with me. I hope you enjoyed it.

The aroma of fresh, hot brewed coffee slowly brought Brenda out of her much-needed slumber. It was mid-afternoon when they finally awoke from their marathon love making that started deep into the night. It was also the first time in a week that she'd slept more than a few hours at a time. She'd like to blame it all on the thorough sexual relaxation that she felt but she knew it was also because, in Sharon's arms, she felt the safest and most comfortable.

Brenda sighed contently when Sharon handed her the steamy mug. The warmth felt good between her hands. Bringing the mug to her lips, she inhaled the strong brew before taking a sip.

Sharon sat her own mug down on the nightstand beside the bed. As she turned back to her companion her eyes widened with a sudden bout of nervousness. She was never good at morning afters. But as she saw the smile at the corner of Brenda's eyes peaking over the coffee mug, the nervousness dissolved.

Sharon sat back against the headboard and pulled her pale blue pajama-clad legs toward her body. As she wrapped her arms around her knees she took a deep breath.

"Why did you run?" Sharon asked without looking over at Brenda. She needed to know and now wasn't the time for putting things off. But out of the corner of her eye she could see the blonde take another slow sip from her mug before answering.

"I don't know."

Sharon turned then and glared at her. "Bullshit. That's not an answer. I know, Brenda, that you were hurting. But I didn't know that at the time. First I thought I'd done something wrong, then I thought something had happened to you."

Brenda cleared her throat but didn't say anything.

"I don't break or bend the law for anyone. And I did for you." Sharon sighed heavily. "I couldn't not run a search on you or to make sure you were alive. I put my career on the line and I've never done that before."

"I'm sorry." It was a weak apology but in her heart, Brenda knew the severity of what Sharon had said. It made her feel guilty and yet pleased at the same time. Not many people had put her first. But then again she wasn't one to put someone else first either.

"I didn't do it for you to feel sorry. I did it because I care about you. You, Brenda. Whatever," she waved her hand in the air, "this is isn't like something I've been involved in before. I feel like a young woman in love for the first time; not someone straddling the far side of middle-age."

She hadn't even realized what she said. But Brenda stopped mid-sip and blinked rapidly. She replayed in her head the words Sharon spoke just to be sure she had heard her correctly. As much as she wanted to ask her about it and wanted her to say it again, Brenda left the subject untouched. Maybe she hadn't meant it anyway.

Brenda stalled again long enough to set her half-empty mug on her own bedside table. "When I found out about daddy," her voice cracked and she cleared her throat. "I was numb all over. I only knew that I had to get to him. Nothing else made sense. Nothing else was real. It may sound like an excuse but my head wasn't on straight and I wasn't making the most rational decisions."

Sharon nodded her head to show she understood but let Brenda finish her explanation.

"I…wanted you here. I needed you here. But after leaving the way I did I didn't think you'd come."

"You don't give me much credit."

Brenda turned then and looked into Sharon's sad green eyes. The truth was she did give her credit. She gave her full credit for making her feel like a woman again and maybe for the first time. But Sharon didn't deserve to be treated the way Brenda had treated her. It pained her all over again to think of the agony she put her in. What was done was done and all she could do now was make amends.

"Do you want me to tell you I ran because I was scared?" Brenda paused long enough but Sharon didn't reply. "I was. I am. But," she laughed because she couldn't help it, "I'm Brenda Leigh Johnson. I've jumped in front of bullets, knives, angry people, pretty much everything…but finally sharing my life with someone who makes me happy…that scares the hell out of me."

Neither Sharon's face nor body language showed any emotion. She was letting everything sink in. But Brenda was good at reading people even if they tried hardest not to give themselves away. Sharon's chest was rising and falling quicker and more unevenly. The creamy skin of her chest was becoming flushed pale pink.

The brunette finally took a deep breath and let it back out slowly. The thing she said she'd never get herself mixed up in again was sitting right in front of her. But it wasn't the R word that caused her heart to race. It was the fact that, despite all her misgivings, she could see herself being with Brenda Leigh long term. And she liked what she saw. But she couldn't ignore the trust issue she now had with Brenda leaving.

"You can trust me." Brenda practically whispered.

Sharon blinked her eyes twice. Brenda really was in her head. A familiar smirk played on her lips as she gently ran her index finger through one of Brenda's blonde waves cascading over her shoulder.

"Then let's go home…to Rusty…to our life." The smirk turned to a smile as she leaned closer and their lips met in a soft welcoming kiss. But this kiss was different from any of their others. It wasn't full of passion or romance. Simply, it was a declaration of love and commitment.

Six months later Brenda, Sharon, and Rusty were successfully navigating the kitchen and dining room of their new, bigger condo. Sharon's old place just wasn't big enough for the three of them living together. The new place afforded them the space and privacy they all needed.

The celebration was a quiet one. It's what Rusty wanted. He didn't need a big party to celebrate turning 17. He owed his life to the two women flitting about the house putting cheesy 'Happy Birthday' signs on everything. They were more mothers to him than his own had ever been. In his heart he knew he'd be dead if they hadn't rescued him from the streets.

Finally they sat down to dinner; a dinner Rusty so eloquently prepared. He hadn't asked for anything for his birthday except for them to allow him to enroll in a culinary school on the weekends. Brenda and Sharon couldn't be happier with his choice. He really was becoming an excellent chef. And they both were so happy to see him so completely enthralled.

"I know I said I didn't want anything for my birthday." Rusty said between bites of eggplant parmesan.

Sharon and Brenda stopped eating and looked at him tentatively. They'd practically begged Rusty for birthday gift suggestions but he was adamant about no gifts.

"Oh God. This is lame. Nevermind." The embarrassed lad bowed his head and shoved another bite of food in his mouth.

"Come on, Rusty. It's just us. You can say anything to us." Brenda reassured him.

They waited a few silent minutes for him to get the courage to continue his previous thought.

He cleared his throat. "This is going to sound like that stupiest thing ever. I've been looking at some stuff online and…I know in a year I'll be 18 and an adult…but…"

Now their curiosities were peaked. Sharon swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. She didn't know if she could handle Rusty moving out on his own. She'd gotten so used to him being there. Even after Brenda moved in, Sharon still relished her talks with Rusty. They'd formed quite the bond; one she'd never had with her own children. The two women passed an uneasy glance across the table.

"In California same-sex couples can adopt."

Curiosity quickly turned to confusion.

Sharon looked quickly to Brenda and back to the young man sitting at the head of the table. "Adopt?"

"I want you to adopt me. Both of you. Be my legal guardians or whatever." He was saying the words fast and close together so maybe they wouldn't sound so silly.

Sharon and Brenda looked eyes across the table. Neither were sure if they'd heard him correctly right away.

"Rusty? Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I mean, I don't know what it takes or how much it costs—I'll chip in! But,…"

Sharon could tell he was getting emotional. He must have been considering this for awhile now by the anguish she saw on his face. The young man never was good about hiding his emotions. With their time together, Sharon learned Rusty quirks and nuances.

"Rusty, if this is what you want, then we'd be happy to do it. We'd be honored to be your…parents." Brenda interjected before Sharon could offer her own thoughts.

There wasn't anything to discuss. They'd solidified their lives together and adopting Rusty would cement their commitment to their little, unorthodox, perfect family.

The ceremony was exactly nine months later. When Sharon and Brenda leaned over the desk to sign the papers together, neither had seen this in their future even a year before. But here they were standing before a judge as a family.

Luckily, with their years of service in law enforcement, both Sharon and Brenda had contacts to push this thru the system. Sharon was a bit uncomfortable asking for favors but Brenda wouldn't hear of it. That's what being in law enforcement was all about, she said. You scratch their backs and they scratch yours.

"So let's begin." The judge, a red-headed former DA who gave Brenda nothing but grief during her tenure as the Deputy Police Chief, smiled.

Rusty stepped behind them so they were almost forming a circle. Sharon took his right hand as Brenda took his left. Everything was falling into place now. Sharon never felt more fulfilled and content than she did at that moment. It was like a dream she never knew she had was coming true.

The judge cleared her throat and began, "Repeat after me please, I, Brenda, take you, Sharon, to be my lawfully wedded wife…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this. I didn't particularly like the way I ended it but I needed to end it.
> 
> I wrote this years ago on the other site and just transferred it to this one so there are a lot of things I would change but I won't. I still think it's a good story despite how I ended it.
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


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